Exodus: Gift for you
by Rusty Knights Productions
Summary: So much time and nobody listens. Time to end it all, and end this fic. If You aren't happpy about it, it's your problem. And if you can say what is wrong with it, please do. COMPLETED.
1. Awakening

Exodus: gift for you.  
  
"Who are you?"  
  
Asuka sat on a seat in an empty room. There was a spot light concentrated on her. It revealed a ground under her and the seat. It was multicoloured and looked tainted and sick. Light formed a sphere around her, which made her feel somewhat safe.  
  
Asuka looked around but didn't find anything to concentrate on. The air was creating pressure around her inside the room... if it even was a room.  
  
There was nothing but the thick hood of darkness making her feel uncomfortable and wearied. Something loomed at the back of the room suddenly that caught her attention.  
  
"Who are you?" The question appeared in her mind. Flaming letters burned into her thoughts.  
  
"What?" Asuka asked.  
  
"Who are you?" The words flashed a second time.  
  
"I'm pilot of the Evangelion Unit-02," Asuka stated.  
  
"Wrong. Who are you?"  
  
"I said that already," Asuka replied almost angrily.  
  
"Who are you?" It didn't seem to notice her objections.  
  
"An Eva pilot," Asuka spat.  
  
"Wrong. Who are you?" it asked again, burning, more angry this time than before.  
  
"The second child," she replied.  
  
"WRONG!"  
  
Now the word was strong, and filled with rage. The red lettering exploded between her eyes.  
  
"WRONG!"  
  
She could taste it, the frustration, the anger. The flames that licked her mind were saturated with wrath and determination.  
  
"WRONG!"  
  
The darkness began to grow. It began to eat away at the light barrier that she had thought was keeping her safe, tentacles of shadows rapidly approaching her, they began to devour that small light what was surrounding her.  
  
"Who are you?"  
  
Asuka began to breath faster, her pulse climbing, as she watched the darkness eating the ring that was her only line of defense against the night, which enveloped right in front of her...  
  
"Who are you?" it asked once more, barely giving her a chance to think on her own.  
  
"A—A—A Asuka..." she said stammering. She didn't added the pilot part this time.  
  
"GOOD!"  
  
Now the word wasn't hostile anymore, but seemed almost delighted. The eerie darkness withdrew back to the corners of her safety ring, giving her the space she craved.  
  
"What do you want?" it asked.  
  
Asuka began to breath normally as she saw how the dark ring backed away from her.  
  
"What do you want?"  
  
"I...I..." she didn't understand what was happening. Or why was it happening.  
  
"Is this some kind of punishment?" she asked quietly.  
  
She heard a click. Another spotlight appeared before her. It was Shinji who had come suddenly.  
  
"Why would it be?" Now there weren't any words or flashing fire, but only the sound of his voice.  
  
"I tried to take my life... I don't have purpose anymore... no reason... maybe I deserved this." She buried her face into her hands, not wanting the boy to see how distraught the conversation was making her.  
  
Again another spotlight began to glow. It revealed her guardian, Major Misato Katsuragi.  
  
"Deserved what?" Misato asked in a kind voice.  
  
Asuka looked at her guardian, who was calm and almost emotionless.  
  
"This... this hell... this limbo... this darkness..." she cried. "Whatever you call it..."  
  
"Why?" Shinji asked. "Why would you deserve this?"  
  
"I... I" She stammered, not sure how to answer the innocent question, despite how obvious she felt the response really was.  
  
"Why?" Misato repeated Shinji's question.  
  
"I tried to kill myself... " Asuka reasoned. It had to be reason why this is happening, it was the simplest explanation. "...yes... it... it shouldn't be in my grasp to decide what I want anymore..." she cried.  
  
"If it isn't you, then who can make that decision?" Shinji asked. The question seemed so logical.  
  
"I... I don't know..." she replied slowly.  
  
"Someone can take your life, and you can take someone else life, too," Misato answered simply. "It's power that has been given to people."  
  
"Your life is in your own hands, but sometimes it is in someone else's hands at the same time," Shinji said, as he waved his hand to another corner of the dark space.  
  
Something inside of her clicked suddenly, showing her what had happened all over again.  
  
There was a rainy view of Tokyo-three. It was dark and hazy. In the distance of the dark sky something glowed. The fifteenth angel. Lighting stroke inside the clouds and grumble of the thunder created a orchestra, as the angel floated up in the highs, ghostly eating clouds away when it came forward.  
  
She saw her Eva Unit-02 aiming at the sky, and the red color glowing from it. Raindrops spanked it without mercy. It was awaiting its enemy, to come a range where it could carry on its mission, patiently, without flinching.  
  
Suddenly all space began to glow. Bright rainbow colors took over the entire city, making it shine like thousands of stars with a power that was almost touchable.  
  
"No! Not again!" she begged, shaking her head. She couldn't see it again... not again...  
  
Eva Unit-02 began to spasm and twist out of control. It trembled and four slits on its head began to glow. Powerlessly it shot all of its ammunition to nearby buildings or the sky. A few shots flew harmlessly passed the Angel. It didn't take long before all of the munitions were empty, leaving the Eva helplessly pulling the trigger again and again.  
  
"No..." The suffocated cry escaped out of her lips.  
  
The Evangelion continued its dance as though it was dancing on razor blades, every deadly step taking her closer to her doom, and the pain was more than she could bear again.  
  
For some time, Asuka heard her own screams inside the Evangelion as it tried to escape its fate by dancing faster. Soon it begin to slow down despite itself, and was crouching on the ground.  
  
"Please... not this... not again..." she moaned, trying to cover her eyes, but even when she closed her eyelids, there was no escaping seeing the scene again.  
  
Unit-00 appeared out of nowhere without warning, holding a double helix spear in its arms. Slowly, it began to tune its position to target the Angel high in the sky above them.  
  
"Wondergirl..." Asuka growled.  
  
Unit-00 appeared to be waiting for a while, and Asuka knew that computer was calculating the optimal patterns to throw. She could hear its muscles tense when it took firmer hold over the lance. Then it began to run forward and the lance began to vibrate, and when the blue Unit threw it, it was transformed into a bright red arrow.  
  
It flew through the air with incredible speed, faster than sound, faster than anything Asuka had ever seen before. It reached the angel in orbit, and an orange flash was seen in the sky as the Angel activated its AT Field, but the lance barely even noticed it. Soon, a bright flash formed in the sky and the Angel spectacularly dissolved into a millions of light dots.  
  
Soon the mind-raping beam was dimming, and the red giant fell to the ground.  
  
Asuka watched this whole episode with a mixture of hate, diguist, and despair. "I couldn't do anything... I was like a helpless child... and Wondergirl... of all people..." she growled between her teeth, looking at the sight before her with a dark expression on her face. "I'm so weak..." she gasped, settling on the facts. The thought of that only made her feel worse, though.  
  
Now, new white flames burned her mind as a different voice started speaking. "What do you want?" Although it was a new voice, the question was the same as before.  
  
"I want to die!" she shouted.  
  
Again, a new spotlight appeared. This time, her friend Hikari spoke. "Really?"  
  
"Yes... why should I continue... there is no reason... I've lost everything..." She sobbed and shook her head as the realization sunk in. She had nothing left.  
  
"What is everything to you?" Hikari asked.  
  
"The Eva... piloting it... what the others think.... my pride," she moaned on her seat, no longer able to meet the piercing gaze her friend was giving her.  
  
"Look at the mirror.," Misato suggested, pointing at the mirror that had appeared out of nowhere.  
  
Asuka rose out of her seat slowly, her determination the only thing driving her forward, towards the mirror. There she saw herself, dressed in her favourite yellow dress. The one who looked back at her was the proud and persistent individual that she had fought so hard to become. She laughed a little because the whole thing was almost too ironic for words -- she was actually jealous of herself. "Look at her... she has everything..." she grumbled. "Look, how she is... me." It became so clear to her all of a sudden.  
  
The mirror image of her began to move, and then it replied to her quietly "I'm not you."  
  
"No?" Asuka replied confused.  
  
"No. I'm the image that what you want the world to see, your other self. I'm the one who you wish to be, but you aren't me. And I'm not you," her reflection said.  
  
"What are you saying?"  
  
"I'm saying that I'm only your mask, a image, a lie, what you desperately try to hold onto in order to have reality hold together for you. Your reality is shaken, and so you tried to get away from it."  
  
"How?" she asked.  
  
"You tried to take you life. You thought that death would give you liberation, a peace. Where you would be safe, away from all the humiliation. Away from failure. Away from pain."  
  
"Yes... I have to die... it's the only sensible thing to do..." she nodded to herself, knowing finally that she had taken the right path.  
  
"Why do you hate the other pilots?" Hikari asked suddenly.  
  
"Because they are better than I am... they have both beaten me..." she growled and glanced at Hikari angrily, though she could feel the anger ebbing away within her. "And they... they didn't even mean to do it! Shinji... ha... he only does it because he can, not because he wants to. He always whines about how he doesn't want to pilot it... And Wondergirl... she only pilots because she is ordered to do it..." She frowned at the thought.  
  
"So, you hate her the most?" Misato said in a calm voice.  
  
"Yes..." Asuka hissed. "She acts like a complete robot, and I can't stand that! She has a choice!"  
  
"A choice?" Shinji asked.  
  
"Everyone has a choice!" Asuka yelled.  
  
"NO!" A new word with white flames screamed into her mind. As soon as the flames died, she noticed that her location was different again. She was looking at the some kind of vat, where Rei was floating in a orange liquid, which Asuka guessed to be LCL. It had to be.  
  
She looked around and saw walls, walls which weren't solid but made out of glass. It was like an aquarium, but at a much larger scale. It was filled with LCL and apparent fishes. Only they weren't fishes at all.  
  
Multiple Rei Ayanamis were giggling and grinning as they swam around the aquarium, looking at her. She understood almost at once that these were clones - mindless copies of the one she knew as Rei Ayanmi.  
  
"Is this true...?" she asked, breathless.  
  
"Yes." Now Ritsuko appeared out of nowhere next to Asuka. "This event took place right after sixteenth angel."  
  
Soon Asuka noticed Gendo Ikari watching the tank, and talking to some technicians surrounding the vat. She made her way a little closer so she could hear what was being said.  
  
"Is the conditioning complete?" he asked.  
  
"Yes...we have wiped her memory clean of everything as you requested. This is the strongest form of conditioning that we have used, and we are not certain if it will last, as we had to rush the process to avoid suspicions. We have anticipated a 95 percent success rate, thanks to the Maji System."  
  
"I don't care about petty success rates. I just want her to be ready to use," Gendo answered coldly.  
  
"Yes sir," the technician answered.  
  
"What about the injuries?" Gendo asked.  
  
"Sir..?" technician asked, not seeing what he was getting at.  
  
"You said that you were trying to avoid suspicions as I asked, but her body is intact. How are you going to explain that she survived the explosion without coming to any harm?" Gendo asked in a sarcastic tone.  
  
"We had to skip it, in order to accelerate the conditioning process," Technician answered nervously.  
  
"I see," Gendo muttered. "Guards."  
  
A couple of muscular guys walked into view. "Once this is complete, beat her up," Gendo ordered.  
  
"Bu-but sir..." the technician stammered, shocked by his order.  
  
"We can't take any risks. Besides she'll get better soon: we just have to keep unwanted questions at bay for a while." Gendo began to walk away, and stopped at the exit. "Just don't hurt her too much."  
  
When Rei was taken out of the vat, she only managed to take a couple of hazy steps before the first guard slammed her to the floor with his baton, and the corner of her eye began to bleed. When she fell on the floor, another guard hit her in the stomach so that she couldn't resist the 'process.' Rei cried out in pain as air was forced out of her lungs. The technicians turned their heads away, and closed their eyes, but they couldn't close their ears. The beating continued for a couple of minutes, and between hits Rei let out of series of screams, which were brutally drowned in the noise of the next attack. Soon Rei let out a heart-tearing scream, and the beating slowed.  
  
One of the guards stomped on her hand and broke it. Rei dragged herself with her healthy hand for a while, trying in vain to escape, until one last hit to her head knocked her unconsciousness.  
  
Now Asuka realized the horrible system what Gendo had created. A clone would be a perfect choice and with the conditioning, she would be a doll...she never had to change. Even if someone would shoot her, blowing her apart, it wouldn't be a murder because clones weren't humans, so they are outlaws.  
  
Cruel and perfect. Gendo Ikari's trademark.  
  
"Do you still hate her?" Misato asked. They had all returned to the room where she had been before the show.  
  
"No... I... I almost feel sorry for her..." She thought all this time that Rei felt too superior, but now she realized that she couldn't feel anything at all. "It's... it's like a bird whose wings are broken... she may want to fly... but she will never be able to... she can't feel."  
  
"So, what do you want now?" Shinji asked.  
  
"This doesn't change anything... I'm still useless..."  
  
"You want to stop being useless?" Misato asked.  
  
"Yes... I... I'm so tired. Tired of being worthless... tired of being strained all over, tired of being angry all the time. But I can't be happy..."  
  
"Why not?" Hikari asked.  
  
"Because..." Asuka swallowed. "I'm alone. I've driven away everyone who would ever care about me... I have no one left..."  
  
"Can't you change that?" Misato asked.  
  
"Can I?" she asked hastily.  
  
White flaming words appeared in her mind again, echoing in her consciousness. "Of course."  
  
Now a new vision appeared. She was older, in a house of her own. She was seated in comfortable looking armchair. It was a traditional German house, and she was reading a book. Not to her self, but to two children around her.  
  
"What...?" she asked confused.  
  
There was a little boy and girl, both around the same age. The girl looked almost just like her, and the boy had something familiar about him. They were both listening to her as she was reading to them. Asuka thought that was a Belgian fairy tale about a king and a bear, but she wasn't really paying attention to her own voice, but to the children.  
  
She looked around the cottage. It was cozy and filled with warm and love. Asuka noticed that this self was... happy. It made her feel better. She didn't find any reminders about the angels, the EVAs, or anything else, but she didn't care. Everything seemed so right. It was as though everything was supposed to fit together like this.  
  
But then it vanished.  
  
"NO!" she cried. "Show me more!" she demanded to those around her.  
  
"I can't," Hikari replied dully. "I can show you nothing else."  
  
"This is only a glimpse. This isn't real." Shinji added.  
  
"It is a lie?" Asuka asked more confuse than moment before.  
  
"No," Misato replied. "It's what your life could become one day, though."  
  
"But not the way you are living now. All your life you have thought that the Eva series is your only purpose," Hikari continued. "Have you ever thought about who you are and who you would be if the Eva series didn't exist?"  
  
Asuka began to think about the past. Eva was attached so tightly around her self, around her very soul, that even thought about was impossible. But the more she thought about it, the more it began to sound so reasonable. "I see it... so clear now... everything is so clear..."  
  
"Really?" Hikari said.  
  
"Yes. I didn't want to be alone... so I wanted to be perfect and gain attention that. I thought that it was I who drew others near me, but it was only a shell.... a shell to protect my true self. And if someone tried to dig beneath my illusion, got too close, I drove him or her away. In the end when my shell was destroyed... I was truly alone..." Asuka said.  
  
"GOOD!" The white flaming word seemed delighted as it announced itself again.  
  
"I can only blame myself. I tormented Shinji because I wanted to have control, to know that I had someone under me, but instead it just made me feel worse... what an irony. I wanted to be praised and idolized, but who could love me now, after all I've done to push them away?"  
  
"It's a difficult dilemma." Shinji stated.  
  
"Yes. But if I tried hard enough maybe I could...." she stopped.  
  
"Could what?" Shinji, Hikari and Misato asked in perfect unison, their combined voices sounding more like the voice of the white flame than anything else.  
  
"Maybe if tried, I could find a new purpose, other than the Eva. Find someone to love, someone who could love me back..."  
  
"CORRECT!" the word stated.  
  
"That's it! Maybe there is hope!" Asuka's eyes lit up as she spoke with a new found sense of joy.  
  
"Maybe, but you chose to die, remember?" Hikari pointed out.  
  
"But can I be happy? Without Eva? If there is a chance... I want to take it... despite the risks..." She rose up in her chair again and walked towards the mirror that still held her old self contained within it. "No more of this!" She pushed the mirror to the ground, and shattered it in a million pieces. "No more!"  
  
"What about other people? You've sworn that you don't need them..." Shinji reminded her.  
  
"But I do... and hopefully someone out there will need me, too..." she replied quietly.  
  
"But what if you are wrong?" Misato asked.  
  
Asuka swallowed her fear before replying. They had made sense thus far. "Death is always an option, if I change my mind. But I am sure I can find someone out there."  
  
"Tell us again what you want." The white flaming question was no longer asking, but demanding again.  
  
"I want to love, and be loved, I want to be happy, and I'm going to be happy! I don't need the Eva anymore! I will be fine even without it! Did your hear that?!" she shouted "I want to live!"  
  
As soon as the words escaped her lips, the whole room started to collapse around her. Soon she noticed that she was swimming towards blue flame, and then the white flame spoke one last time.  
  
"Take back your life: it's gift is for you!"  
  
She woke up on a hospital bed, and looked around slowly. Shinji was next to her, half asleep. Asuka drew a sharp breath and shot up from the bed almost at once when she realized that she was back in reality.  
  
"Asuka!" Shinji yelled and for once he defied his fate and embraced her, knowing that she would soon cry 'baka hentai.' But he didn't care. She was alright, finally. To his amazement, though, she didn't scream.  
  
Instead, Asuka answered his embrace by holding him closer. Shinji could no longer hold back his own tears. When they finally let go, he looked to her carefully. "Are you all right?"  
  
"Better than I have been for a long time," she replied with a smile. Then she bent into him and kissed him gently on his cheek slowly.  
  
Shinji flushed as she pulled back. After he got himself together, he looked into her eyes, begging the question that he knew his voice wouldn't handle.  
  
"You deserved it. Thank you..." she answered in a whisper.  
  
"I didn't do anything," he replied.  
  
"Yes, you did. You cared. And for that... thanks."  
  
The end. 


	2. Thoughts and Talks

Chapter 2: thoughts and talks.  
  
Shinji just stared at Asuka, who stared back into his blue eyes. A moment ago, a glimpse of joy was seen within them, but now a familiar doubt began to grow.  
  
Shinji still remembered what Kaworu had been like - gentle friendly and always so considerate - and now Asuka was acting strangely. Almost... just like him. Why was she being so nice?  
  
'Dear god, don't let it be...' he thought as he stared at her, not saying a thing. He didn't know what he could say. 'I don't know if I bear to lose you again...'  
  
Asuka was silent too. She saw everything differently now... no longer did she see a stupid little baka hentai before her. Instead, she saw somebody who cared about her, about what happened to her.  
  
'I'm... not alone anymore...' she thought slowly.  
  
After a while of studying each other, Asuka broke the near unbearable silence which had ensnared every corner of the room. "Shinji..." she whispered slowly.  
  
"Y-yes..." He stammered a little. Half of him feared that Asuka would hit him as he had expected, and the other half actually wished that she would.  
  
"Could you get me some clothes? I'm freezing..." she said, crossing her arms. Se was literally half naked, as she knew she wasn't wearing more than the gown, which was showing a little more of her breasts than she would have like, and didn't cover as far down as it should have, either.  
  
Shinji suddenly seemed to notice this fact, and after he blushed, he turned his head away stammering a string of apologies. He began to run towards the closet to help, and ended up tripping over his own feet. He moaned as he landed hard on the ground.  
  
"Are you all right?" she giggled. She still remembered how she always used to call him a pervert all the time... but now she was actually noticing that he was apologizing for his thoughts, as though he could control them in any way. She always punished him for his thoughts, even when he didn't even do anything wrong. He was just always in the wrong place at the wrong time - like when they were showering after an Angel battle, or when Misato was in one of her "cheery" moods. ' I can't punish you for living... for things you are forced to do...'  
  
Suddenly some sensation about Shinji seeing her almost naked flashed through her mind. She almost shouted hentai at him, but then she remembered again that he had tried to cover his face, just so he wouldn't even be tempted to look at her. Any other boy would have devoured her with their eyes, but Shinji didn't even seem to notice that she was exposed until she pointed it out.  
  
"Yeah... I think so..." Shinji managed as he got to his feet. After a while of stumbling while trying not to look as her, he found some clothes in the closet and handed them to her blindly.  
  
'What took you so long, baka?' she was about to spit out at him, but then the loneliness that had gripped her before, while she was trapped in the limbo came back to her all at once. It was what she wanted to avoid at all costs. "Thanks..." she said instead. 'All right, Asuka. One step at a time... remember not to insult him unless there is reason to do it...'  
  
"So... how are you feeling?" Shinji asked slowly, shyly looking in her general direction.  
  
"Pretty well, taking note that I just woke up from a coma," Asuka replied with a grin. "These hospital clothes suck."  
  
"Really?" Shinji asked.  
  
"Yeah! These people who work here must be suffering some kind of a fetish - why else would they clothe me with some stupid suit that opens from behind?"  
  
Shinji smiled for a long time. 'God, how I missed you.' He stared at her as she went through her new clothing. She had managed to cover herself up for the most part, so he didn't mind just looking at her for a moment, making sure he had found good clothes for her. There wasn't much of a selection. Jeans and a short-sleeved green shirt. She studied them for a moment and then met Shinji's stare with one of her own.  
  
"Do you mind?" She rolled her finger in the air making a circle at him.  
  
"What?" he asked dazed, not catching her meaning.  
  
"Still so dense? Turn around, of course," she said it calmly, keeping the venom out of her voice, keeping it friendly instead.  
  
Shinji flushed again. "Gomen nasai," he stammered and turned around quickly.  
  
Asuka looked at his back for a moment, and a light smile decorated her lips. Then she began to strip out out her hospital robe, not really wanting to spend another second in it. She soon noticed that the clothes Shinji had given her were the exact same as the ones she had been wearing earlier... when the Section Two agents found her just in time. "Government can't afford any decent clothes, but there always seems to be money when they have to buy N2 mines or new war equipment, right Shinji?"  
  
"I guess so... at least you got the robe, though." Shinji remembered well those times when he was stuck in the NERV's hospital. And he remembered the old times, times when he wasn't alone. That whole week was like hell.  
  
He had learned what Rei truly was. One friend was gone, but she didn't leave. She was still there, but wasn't the Rei that he had come to know.  
  
Kaworu. He was like Shinji himself, but still different. He was... happy. Shinji wasn't happy. He was satisfied by how things simply happened around him, but true happiness was something that he had only felt for a little time, if at all. He didn't even remember when he last time was as happy as he was right then and there, now that Asuka was awake again.  
  
Misato had isolated herself. It seemed that she didn't care anymore about anything except her work. And the truth, which she seemed to be constantly chasing suddenly. She rarely came back home at all, and when she was there, she never said a word, and he felt the silence uncomfortable, but unbreakable.  
  
But Asuka was here now. It was good to have someone to tell him what to do. He didn't know if he could have tolerated not having it for another moment.  
  
"Didn't you then got one of these? Perverts..." she snorted. After she had finished getting dressed, she asked Shinji to turn around again. "So... how do I look?" She rose from her bed slowly and now stood right before Shinji.  
  
He studied her for a moment, looking her over. She wanted an answer, and he was going to give her one. The short-sleeved shirt was practically form fitting, and looked amazing on her. Her red hair was still well taken care of, despite her long time in the hospital. Her jeans hugged her thighs and her lower body. When he found himself looking at her feet, he realized that he had to give he an answer, and soon.  
  
"Good," he said, trying to sound a little off handed.  
  
"Don't choke on your infinite admiration..." she frowned in response.  
  
"Gomen... I... You..." he tried, faltering each time. "You look so different..."  
  
Asuka looked at herself quickly. These clothes were unlike anything that she had worn in the past, but they felt so familiar. She hadn't wanted to die in something familiar, which was why she had chosen the outfit... but now it felt perfect. "Well, I feel different too," she said with a smile. These clothes would perfectly suit her new beginning. They had killed the old Asuka Langley Soryu. "Where are all the doctors?"  
  
"Evacuated," Shinji replied with a sigh. "After the sixteenth angel, they decided to evacuate all nonessential personnel." He looked out of the nearby window. "There are only few doctors left here, now."  
  
"So, I could easily run away from here?" Asuka asked. She was fed up with even the thought of just lying in the bed, as she knew it had been all she had been able to do for some time now.  
  
"Umm... I guess so."  
  
"Great. Let's go!" She grabbed Shinji's wrist and began to drag him out the door.  
  
"W-wa-wait!" Shinji stammered. "Maybe this isn't such a great idea. I mean, you just woke up after being in a coma for days!"  
  
'Days? It didn't feel like days....' "You're right, it probably isn't such a good idea... but I'm already tired of this sterile smell. I want to go out!" she chirped. She left no room for argument as she dragged him out of the hospital with her.  
  
Once they were outside, Asuka released her grip on Shinji's wrists. They walked for a while together, until Asuka suggested that they go to the railing along the hill where Misato had brought Shinji after the fight with the third angel.  
  
The wind was blowing gently, and the cicada noises were barely even noticeable. Asuka leaned against the railing slowly, and closed her eyes. She was letting the wind caress her face. Her hair was blowing wildly in the open air.  
  
"So, what have you been up to?" Asuka asked after a long silence.  
  
"Nothing special," he answered, his voice almost flat. "Visiting you, mostly."  
  
"So, I'm not special anymore?" Asuka asked pretending to be hurt.  
  
"Gomen, I didn't meant it like that," Shinji corrected himself at once.  
  
"I know," she replied with a smile.  
  
They both looked down at the city that was Tokyo-3. Even though it was morning, it could have been night but the lights. The city looked even more desolate than when Shinji had first seen it so long ago. Every civilian had been evacuated, and the town was almost empty.  
  
"So, all the angels have been destroyed?"  
  
Shinji shuddered when he heard the word angel being spoken again. "Yes..." he answered with a suffocated tone.  
  
Asuka saw how Shinji reacted at once, as she was watching him carefully. "Last one was the worst for you too, eh?"  
  
"Yeah..." Shinji's expression fell even deeper.  
  
'I guess its the end of this...there is no need for the Evangelion units anymore...' she thought to herself. "I'm just glad it's over," Asuka replied after a moment, without actually taking the time to notice how sad he looked suddenly.  
  
"You are?" Shinji asked. Now, he was stunned. He was sure that when Asuka woke up, she would start in on him right away about how selfish and supreme he was being because he saved the world again, and she didn't have the chance to.  
  
"Don't you?" she said, glancing at him. "You didn't even want to pilot the Eva at the first place, right?"  
  
"Well... I think it's a relief that it's over." He raised his head to look over the buildings, to the clouds on the horizon. "But I thought that you loved piloting the Eva..."  
  
Asuka glanced again at him. "Tell you what..." she said slowly. "Say something about me that has nothing to do with the Evangelion Units."  
  
"There are lots of things... like..." Shinji stopped suddenly as though lost in thought, and then put his hand on his chin to start thinking harder.  
  
"Take your time," Asuka suggested dryly.  
  
Shinji walked around trying to think of even one thing about her that wasn't about them. There was something, he just couldn't think of it. After a while he was ready to give up, but then he remembered something, a memory that he had buried to protect himself. He knew he couldn't have mentioned that incident again unless she brought it up. "You like scuba diving."  
  
Asuka's face lit up. "You remembered!" she cheered.  
  
"Well, that particular event scorched a mark on my mind," he said smiling at her, remembering her ways to motivate him in thermal expansion all over again.  
  
"I was just trying to help you. Is that the you way to say thanks?" she retorted with a sly smile.  
  
"Gomen..."  
  
"You haven't lost your habit about always apologizing for everything, eh?" Asuka snapped.  
  
"Gom..." he started, but then caught himself. "Never mind."  
  
Asuka grinned. "I was certain that you wouldn't remember that old thing."  
  
"It wasn't so long ago..." Shinji mumbled as his mind ran through the so called 'good old times.'  
  
"But it feels like it..." Asuka sighed. "So, anything interesting been happening when I was away?"  
  
"I wouldn't say interesting, exactly..." His thoughts begin to fall into darkness again, as they had been so often as of late.  
  
Asuka noticed then that he got depressed easily whenever she asked about the recent times. Something had happened when she was in her coma, and it was weighting heavily in his little shoulders. With more weight than she thought he could bare alone for long. "You seem different... sadder than usual. Is there something on your mind?"  
  
"I..." he stammered, faltering again. He was waiting for someone who he could talk to about this, it was one of the only things he wanted anymore. But now that he finally had a chance, he was afraid, scared that she would begin to really hate him - to despise him and avoid him at all costs... 'Murderer!' He could see her finger pointing at him accusing in his mind already.  
  
Asuka noticed how Shinji's face had suddenly turned dower, and had a deep look of foreboding about it suddenly. "Shinji..." she started, waiting for him to look up before saying anything else. "I know."  
  
Shinji's face fell blank and pale instantly. "Wh-wha-what are you..."  
  
"About Wonder girl... I mean... Ayanami Rei. I know... what she is."  
  
Shinji's jaw drop wide open. While he had been expecting her to say something about Kaworu, he did not expect her to suddenly mention Rei of all people. Especially about something like that... "How... did you..."  
  
Asuka put her fingers to Shinji's lips to silence him before he could say anything else. "It's not important. I know what she meant to you... and I'm sorry."  
  
Shinji stared at her for moment. He took her hand inside his palm and just held it tightly. They both looked to each other, and he found Asuka's eyes to be so receptive. He knew she would listen to what he had to say about her, at least. "She... it was so easy to talk to her... she was just there for me... she listened to everything that I said... no matter how pathetic or stupid it was..."  
  
Asuka felt a sharp little stinging in her heart. Usually when Shinji wanted to talk her about almost anything, she had just driven him away, thinking that she had better things to do than listen to him complain. 'Well, not anymore! Time to do something useful for once...' "So... how did you find out?"  
  
"I should ask you that, " he chuckled, but it was obviously forced, for his features remained dark. "Ritsuko showed it to us... to me and misato. What she was... is... there were dozens of them... her. It... it looked so...so"Shinji tried to find the words he wanted to use, but nothing he could think of was strong enough. "Wrong... so sick..."  
  
Asuka grimaced. She remembered what she had seen while in her coma. It was worse than sick, but she wasn't going to try and correct him. She couldn't think of a strong enough word to fit her feelings anyway. "Does she know who... or what... she is?"  
  
"I think so." Shinji sighed. "I don't even know her... not that I knew her well before, mind you..."  
  
"It must be frustrating for her..." Asuka said softly, remembering what the Commander had said about her conditioning, and what he had done to her while she had watched. She would be forced to accept the fact that someone else would be constantly controlling her life at every turn. It had to hurt. Being chained down was the last thing that the poor girl needed.  
  
"I don't even know if she can feel frustrated... Now, I know why father could always put her in the most danger, in the heart of risk... I was only a tool, nothing new there of course... been there, seen it..." He clenched his other palm into a fist while keeping a light hold of Asuka's hand with his other. "And I felt it."  
  
Asuka drew her hand out of Shinji's palm slowly and embraced him tightly. It looked like the whole world could have just stopped at that moment for all either of them cared. Shinji found that he didn't care why she was being so nice suddenly. All that mattered to him was the fact that his friend had finally woken up, and that she actually did care.  
  
They just stood there, continuing to hold each other, for what seemed like an eternity.  
  
Shinji felt the sudden urge to kiss her. She looked so different from before. He knew that he had always felt some leave of attraction towards her... but now it was only stronger. She was actually showing that she could care as well, and that she could understand him. It meant more to him than anything else, and he really wanted to kiss her, to let her know how much she meant. He knew that he was always trying to gather the strength to stand up to her, but he didn't want to hurt her if she was still weak. Ever since the fifteenth Angel that nearly destroyed her, he had seen how vulnerable she truly was.  
  
He always wondered if she had felt anything at all when she had kissed him. It wasn't the best kiss in the world, he knew that, as he could barely breath, but he still felt a connection from his end. When he told Kaji about it - ignoring the horrible fate that would come his way if Asuka ever found out - the man simply laughed and suggested that maybe she didn't find it as bad as she suggested, and that Shinji should just try his chances.  
  
He backed off slowly after that point anyway, though, when he saw how unreachable she made herself to be. Whenever he tried to comfort her, or even talk to her, she had pushed him away. 'Mind your own business, baka! Go away, baka! I hate you, baka!'  
  
He always thought that she hated him, but she wasn't hating him now. Suddenly it felt the opposite. The only question that danced about inside his head was a difficult one. 'Could she feel the same way about me?' He was too afraid to try to find out the answer, to afraid to hurt her... too afraid that she would run away and leave him alone again... just like Kaworu had done.  
  
Asuka could have been there forever, just holding Shinji like she was. She didn't care about anything else around them. She actually found herself wishing that the moment would never end. She liked the feeling. She didn't remember when she had ever felt it before...  
  
The fact that somebody cared. It may be that she had felt it when she found that she was an Eva pilot so long ago... 'No,' she told herself firmly, holding him tighter. She didn't need those memories now, on top of everything else. Besides that happiness... if she could call the burning sensation inside of her when she thought of that moment happiness... What she really need was this. This new feeling... this comforting feeling what made her feel good.  
  
But there was something more to it than just that. She had sleepwalked a few times while staying in the apartment, bu somehow she often ended up in Shinji's room. She didn't admit that fact to anyone, and when Misato found out, she blamed it all on Shinji, of course. She felt like it must have been his fault... but that wasn't right. It was her self denial. Her stupid self denial.  
  
When she was all alone, Shinji seemed to be only person who she could turn to, even if it was just to mock him, or to put him down, or even to yell at him. He was always there, and she had simply never realized it. Now she felt something more than seeking refuge or comfort. Something much stronger.  
  
Love?  
  
She had always thought that she loved Kaji. But now she noticed that it seemed to be a wasted effort, pointless from the beginning. Kaji and Misato were made each other. It really was obvious... or it was obvious now, at least. She ended up disliking Misato because she was trying to steal Kaji away from her. But the truth was quite different.  
  
Misato never needed to steal him away. The two of them were bound together, and there wasn't really anything anyone could have done about it.  
  
But secretly she was imaging what it could be like... if she and Shinji could be together. 'Maybe... just maybe... I could... we could... have something together. Something special. Something wonderful.'  
  
But what if he didn't want her? What if he was too scared and ran away again? He had done it before over issues with his father... And she couldn't risk losing him the same way. He couldn't just run away from her... 'Maybe it's best to take it slow, and think some things through... we have all the time in the world, after all.'  
  
So, ironically, they both thought the same thing at almost the same time. "I'm such a coward."  
  
After they finally released their hold on each other, they decided it was time to return home.  
  
Night was taking over the quiet city of Tokyo-3. Nothing inside the city moved. Even animals avoided the place because the Evas and the angels.  
  
They eventually arrived inside of their apartment, or what was left of it, anyway. The lights were out, and it seemed dark and empty... even more so than usual.  
  
Misato had passed out on the sofa. She probably had been worrying about Asuka and relieved her fears the only way that she knew how. Asuka noticed that her hair was a mess, and that the odour of beer, sweat, and coffee was filling the room. Her guardian must have skipped a few showers recently.  
  
"How long has this been keeping up?" she asked, looking to Shinji.  
  
"Let's see... a long time. Too long a time." Shinji shook her head. "I hope that seeing you will make her feel better..."  
  
"Where's that blasted bird?"  
  
"She gave it to Hikari when they were evacuated," Shinji replied. "She wanted it to be safe, and in good hands."  
  
"Should we carry her to her room?" Asuka proposed.  
  
Shinji glanced at her in surprise. "If you are strong enough."  
  
"What, you are questioning my muscles now? Haven't you gotten enough demonstration yet?" she asked with a smile.  
  
Shinji smiled as he held up his hands... one of the first smiles she had seen from him in quite some time. "No, I mean that she's gained some weight. She has almost used up her entire beer supply in just a few days."  
  
"Well, let's try," Asuka suggested.  
  
After a while of struggling, they managed to move her slowly, and eventually they got her to her own room. Gently, they placed her on her bed. Asuka heard Misato muttering the name "Kaji..." quite a few times, but she said nothing of it.  
  
They were both exhausted. They said good night each other as they left Misato's room and went to their own rooms. Before sleep could take them, though, they both had a lot to think about...  
  
End of Chapter two 


	3. Promise

Exodus: Gift for you  
  
Chapter 3: Promise  
  
Misato struggled to her feet. She had just put a rough night behind her, though she didn't remember much of it after getting home. She hadn't made any kind of progress in her investigation whatsoever. She had tried to hack into the MAGI from her home computer, but it was useless. The protection was far too strong.  
  
Her friend... or was she her former friend? Misato had only seen her once in a long time, and she was depressed to talk at the time. Either way, Ritsuko had done a fairly good job at finishing her mother's work.  
  
She had created firewall protections, strong ones, too. Only one desperate type defense wasn't in place, which was the famous Beast's defense system, or type 666 firewall. Misato had only a slim chance to break through everything else, though, and it had to be done from the inside of MAGI, literally. There was a weak spot in the coolant systems which she should be able to hack through. It would be cold, though. And she knew she couldn't take any extra clothing, either, as that would have arisen some suspicions.  
  
Another thing what weighed heavily on her mind was Shinji.  
  
They two have been growing apart for quite some time now. They didn't talk each other at all. Not even 'good mornings' were changed between them. Shinji just stayed in his room and stared at the wall or ceiling, if he was even within the house at all. Misato felt that she had abandoned him, but there was nothing that she could do about it. She was not a parent.  
  
It was just better if she did nothing at all...  
  
"No," she whispered quietly to herself. It wasn't better to do nothing. That would only make things even worse. Shinji would rather spend all his time in the hospital, as the side of Asuka's lifeless body. Misato even knew why he was spending so much time there. He needed someone to tell him what to do. Someone to order him around. The girl was good for him, and Misato missed her presence more keenly than ever before.  
  
Misato wished that she could still be in the house, even with her rough, almost abusive way of telling him to do things. Maybe she was the only one who could bring him around, bring him back to who he was. He obviously couldn't get it together on his own. Misato could only leave him alone and hope for the best. But she knew that wasn't helping. She just couldn't find the words to help him.  
  
"We'll see about that..." she mumbled as she opened the door to her room and entered the hallway. Now, it was her turn to try. She was going to talk to him, to help him, even if she had to force it down his throat with her bare hands.  
  
She marched to the kitchen, the very kitchen that she used to always find the boy in. As she stumbled along in the early morning, she started to wonder how she had ended up in her room in the first place. She didn't think she had made it passed the living room...  
  
The kitchen was unusually quiet. A little ray of sunshine came in from the window, but otherwise it was totally desolate. As she looked around, she noticed a bowl of soup on the table. Shinji must ahve left it there from her, she supposed. Without any other ideas, and feeling her own hunger, she took a seat and sipped at the cooling soup.  
  
The kitchen was surprisingly clean despite everything that had happened. She supposed that Shinji must still be cleaning, though it must have been out of habit. There was nothing else he could do. He hadn't even used his SDAT-recorder for a long time. The background music that took his mind out of reality had been missing for some time.  
  
He had no extra batteries left, and no means of finding any more. He hadn't had his music since just after the seventeenth angel fell. Misato had tried to comfort him, but her words only seemed to make matters worse, despite her efforts. "Damn those monsters..." she whispered quietly, lifting the spoon to her lips. She knew that it wasn't over yet. Even though the angels had all been destroyed, something else was still coming. That much was obvious, as Tokyo-3 hadn't withdrawn the evacuation order.  
  
Misato carefully took a sip from the soup, trying to remember how her life had ended up so poorly. She froze as the food hit her tongue, noticing something quite different about it.  
  
It tasted like the first soup Shinji had made when he had arrived in the apartment. He had been so happy then... well, happier than he had been before, anyway. She had noticed that his mood had always had a way of affecting everything that he did. He poured himself into his cooking, when he wanted to. Recently, he had just put the food together like a machine.  
  
These past few days, Misato had simply found the food left for her, but it had no heart in it. It was just thrown together. But this soup... this miso soup tasted like he wanted to cook it. Like he wanted it to taste good. Maybe he was finally getting better.  
  
She heard footsteps behind her, and she put the spoon down slowly and deliberately. It was more of a challenge than she thought it would be. The footsteps stopped at the doorway, and she assumed that he was simply standing there watching her.  
  
"Shinji," Misato called. No answer. "Fine. Be that way," she muttered bitterly. The steps started to walk away again, and she looked away from her soup at the wall in front of her. "Stay where you are," Misato ordered. She wasn't going to let the chance pass. She had to try to help him. She almost smiled when the steps stopped. "We have to talk. We can do it like this, or you can come out of hiding and sit next to me, and we can talk here."  
  
Silence.  
  
"Have it your way then. Either way, you are going to hear it," she said coldly. It was no longer an option, putting it off. "I know these days have been rough. You have lost your friends, even..." Misato tried not to be hostile this time, remembering how he had reacted the last time anyone mentioned the boy. "...Even Kaworu."  
  
The steps started walking away again. "No." She ordered, and smiled to herself when they stopped again. At least he would still listen to her. "I'm not finished yet." There was a few more steps then, but they were coming towards her. They stopped again in the doorway, as though waiting for her to talk again. She kept her gaze fixed on the wall. Misato swallowed hard. She hadn't thought it would be so hard. "Right. I know that you've been down. I'm actually surprised that you haven't run away yet, but instead you remain here. You started to run away from yourself without even leaving. Well guess what -- I'm not gonna feel sorry for you. If you want to continue like this, you can run away and go to hiding. Don't stay here like this."  
  
Again silence.  
  
"Now would be a hell of a good time to start making your own decisions. You are lying to yourself, and I'm sick of it. You are simply waiting for someone to tell you what to do. Even someone who is half dead, or even dead. You just keep repeating the pattern. That is pathetic." As she paused again, the steps started to walk away, but froze as she spoke up again. "Yeah. Just as I thought... Let me ask something, though. Has running away ever made you feel better about anything? Has it ever helped?" She did not receive a response, but she was starting to expect that. "Right. It has only ever made things worse. You know that you suffer more when you hurt others, so you just keep telling yourself that if you don't do anything at all, everything's gonna be alright," she said. "Feh, think again." She snorted and then continued. "The coming days will not be any easier, so I'm giving you a chance to think. You have a choice, so don't try to lie to yourself. You have had it rough, I won't deny you that. But so have I, and I'm not weeping about, I'm not hiding myself from everybody around me. That is all." She had tried to get her message through to him. She doubted he was even listening, though. But she had tried.  
  
Then she heard something that she didn't expect. She had half expected Shinji to either walk bac to his room or start crying uncontrollably. He had wept when he had learned what Rei really was. What she heard caught her off guard.  
  
Clapping.  
  
"Thank you very much, I feel so much better now." The bright voice dripped with sarcasm.  
  
"What the..." Misato turned and her eyes grew wide. The very last person that she had expected to see, Asuka Soryu Langley, was standing in the doorway, looking slightly amused at the whole situation. She was dressed in clothes that Misato didn't recognize, but somehow the jeans and green shirt suited her better than anything she had seen thus far. "I'll be damned..." Misato chuckled, trying to force herself to smile. She was happy, but she had hoped to get through to Shinji.  
  
"Not yet, I'm afraid. Our number one pilot seems to have saved the day again..." she said, her words harsh, but her tone kind, without any malice within it.. "By the way, if you are looking for Shinji, he left couple of minutes ago, before you got up. It is a little late." Asuka walked into the kitchen and sat next to her.  
  
Misato nodded slowly, trying to commit the speech she had just given to her memory, so she could give it again. She had to remember it, so she could try to help Shinji later. She then looked over at the German girl next to her. She had been depressed and low ever since the fifteenth angel had mind raped her. But now she looked neutral, not really happy or sad, but just like nothing had even happened.  
  
"Did you..." Misato pointed to the soup, asking without words if she had made the food.  
  
Asuka's eye opened wider for a second. "Me?" she pointed to herself in amusement. And then she laughed just a bit. More of a chuckle. "As much as I would love to take the glory, I can't." She sighed. "No. Shinji made it, I just watched this morning."  
  
"Oh." Misato nodded and took another sip from the soup that brought back happy memories. "So where is he?"  
  
Asuka glanced out the kitchen window and shrugged. "He went out. He said that he needed some fresh air. He even said that there was nothing else in the city but fresh air." She waved out the window, and looked back to Misato. "THis place is like a ghost town, save for the bugs, the cicadas that are everywhere."  
  
"Would you tell me when he gets back?" she asked.  
  
"Why?" Asuka replied.  
  
"I have to talk to him," she replied, a shadow passing over her face. "He needs something to get him moving again."  
  
"I think he is already moving again," Asuka answered.  
  
"Running away? Again?" Misato asked, worried. She then shook her head. She had a second child to worry about again, too. "Never mind. How are you doing?"  
  
"Better than yesterday. Why?" she asked, sounding a little amused at the question.  
  
"You feel different... more..." Misato tried to find the word she was looking for, but couldn't place it.  
  
"Sane? Alive?" Asuka threw a couple of things out at her guardian.  
  
"Calmer," Misato settled on after a moment. "You alright with that?"  
  
"I guess so," she replied, rubbing the back of her neck.  
  
"So... how are you feeling?" Misato inquired again.  
  
"Like I said, I'm better. Better than I have been in a very long time." She leaned onto the table slowly. "I've been here and there."  
  
"I thought you were lying in bed at the hospital," she pointed out.  
  
"Yes and no." She looked up to the ceiling. "It's sort of hard to explain."  
  
"Why don't you give it a shot?" Misato suggested.  
  
Asuka took her sight away from the roof slowly and sighed. She thought about it for a few minutes before speaking again. "Well, I have plenty of time now." She corrected her position in her chair, making herself more comfortable. "Have you ever been alone, ever felt trapped in a dark room without any light?"  
  
"A few times," Misato answered with a small grin. "I dragged quite a few of the ugly boys to darker rooms to make out when I was younger. Just to give them an ego boost."  
  
Asuka laughed at that admission. "You are just what the United Nations needs... a messenger of good will..."  
  
Misato frowned. "You were about telling me something."  
  
"Yeah. Now that that's over with, were you ever there alone?" Asuka asked. "Trapped?"  
  
Misato began to think about what she had asked and then answered. "Yeah, some times. At least, it feels like it."  
  
"So, did you ever feel that you were alone, but on the other hand, you were surrounded? Like everyone you knew was in the room with you, but they were still miles away? Too distant to be there, but all too clear anyway?  
  
Misato thought for a moment, but then she gave up. "No. That sounds a bit scary."  
  
"Well it is, trust me on that one. It was more than a little spooky, and I wanted to get out of there, but it was like I was glued in place and couldn't move." Her tone then got more serious, and she continued. "Then, I starting getting asked some strange questions. Out of nowhere, they asked every question that I couldn't answer, questions that I wanted to avoid at almost any cost."  
  
"Sounds like some interrogation room..." She swallowed deeply as she remembered what had taken place in the dark room and the strange committee. It couldn't have been the same thing.  
  
"Except, there were no accusations... or maybe there were, but it came from those I knew, which made it easier, somehow. And harder." She continued without even noticing that Misato had said something. "Anyway, there I was, inside a room that was beyond my comprehension." She stopped and smiled a little. "They should've sent a poet..."  
  
"I think I iunderstand where you are coming from with that. What happened inside... in there?"  
  
"That is the best part," she explained. "Or, I don't know if that's the way I should describe it or not. I was there, and saw and heard many strange things. And when it had finished, I came to a great realization."  
  
"And what was that?" Misato asked.  
  
"That I'm hollow. I'm empty. Look, I'm going to ask you the same question what I asked ba..." She trailed off as she stopped herself from insulting Shinji, even if it was when he could hear it. "Shinji." Misato could tell that she did not have an easy time with not insulting him, but she wasn't sure why she hadn't done it. She always called him baka Shinji.  
  
"I'm ready, ask your question, bridge keeper. I'm not afraid." Misato smiled, trying to add at least a touch of humour to the tense position she felt herself in.  
  
"The question is simple. Tell me one fact that doesn't have any connection with Eva that is about me. One hobby, tradition, anything... can you say something about me that doesn't involve the Evangelion Unit?"  
  
"You watch the British animation 'The Snowman' every Christmas," Misato answered without hesitating at all.  
  
"How did you know that?" she asked, delighted and surprised at the same time. Maybe she wasn't as bad off as she had thought. Maybe there were more people that still cared about her than she had thought...  
  
"I got that from Kaji," Misato admitted, looking far out the window, into the distance within her own eyes.  
  
"I picked up that habit when I was spending my first Christmas alone..." Asuka said softly. "I was little then... and I had been waiting for my grandma to come for me for some time..." She followed Misato's sightless gaze to the window, and took a deep breath before continuing. "I watched TV while I waited, and it was then that I saw that foolish program. It was old. More than thirty years old," she admitted.  
  
"So we aren't talking about anything new?" Misato inquired.  
  
"Not at all," she answered. "Not at all. I don't lie." She laughed a little as she said that. "I was only trying to find something to watch, but there was only that SMS chat going on. And so I thought to myself 'What the heck?' And turned back to theat channel, and watched."  
  
"So, I guess that you liked what you saw," Misato pointed out.  
  
"Not at first, not really. I thought is was really odd. 'What is this, some crappey animation without sound?' After about twenty minutes, I was going to shut it off and do something else." Her gaze fell to the table again, and she fell silent.  
  
"So what made you change your mind?" her guardian asked curiously.  
  
"I don't know. Maybe it was with the flight scene. When I watched it and heard the music, I felt relief and a strange warmth spread throughout me. Like I was back home, with everyone else still around..." Asuka looked calm and peaceul as she explained it slowly.  
  
"And you have simply watched it again each year for years now?" Misato asked.  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Don't you ever get tired of watching it? You know what happens in the end, right?" Misato asked. "Doesn't that get old?"  
  
"The snowman melts away, and that kid is standing in the yard, trying to figure out if anything was real, or if it was all just a dream or not..." Asuka sighed. "Kind of like our lives here. If I didn't know any better, I'd say that this is all one big nightmare."  
  
"I know what you mean there. These days, it only gets harder to say what's real, and what is made up by others." Misato nodded slowly to herself as she said it, remembering the work she had been doing to uncover the truth recently. "But you really don't get fed up watching it all over again each year?"  
  
"No. I'm not watching it because of the plot. I like the feeling that it gives, that's all. The feeling that I'm home again," she whispered. "From that day on, I watched it every year, from start to finish. It became my own tradition. I didn't have anything else back then." She then looked to Misato curiously. "Was there ever snow when you were younger?"  
  
Misato started a little when the conversation was suddenly asking her to look back on her youth. Thus far it had been her asking the questions. But it was only fair, even if she didn't like looking back either. "Rarely." She said. "When there was, it wasn't expected. Adults always cursed the whole thing, but us kids were excited because snow was something different..." She smiled a little, but stopped as she continued. "Since... then, the only place where you can even find snow in the world is in the mountains, and to the far north. Cold air doesn't exist anymore."  
  
"So, what was it like? The snow, I mean. I don't know anything about it, not really..."  
  
"Cold and wet," she grinned. "Mostly just that, but if it was soft enough, you could make snowballs out of it and throw them at each other." Misato smiled again. "It was called snow-war. Very common." Her smile faded. "War was so light a word back then..." She shook her head and tasted Shinji's soup again. The warmth of the cold liquid was an odd sensation. The warmth of Shinji simply caring versus the cold of the soup...  
  
"Did you ever make a snowman?" Asuka asked.  
  
"I was a snow-man, or rather, snow-girl, myself. I was almost covered with snow from head to toe after most of those battles." Misato shuddered as she remembered the cold. "After Second Impact, I really didn't miss the snow. I just missed being with everyone else, being together, and having fun..."  
  
"Hmm-m." Asuka nodded. "Well, now you know."  
  
"What?" Misato wondered.  
  
"My little secret."  
  
"Oh, this was something private?" Misato asked, surprised that the Second Child would be willing to share something like that so openly.  
  
"Not anymore... besides Kaji already knew, I guess. And now you do too. I didn't really want it spread around, though... it was embarrassing that an intelligent person like me could be hooking to some old pre-Second Impact cartoon... a cartoon that was old even then." she said a little quietly.  
  
"Heh, the warrior princess image doesn't leave much choice. That was more like you... When did we last have a conversation like this?" Misato asked, trying to think back, but failing.  
  
"Never."  
  
"Really?" Misato asked.  
  
"I told this kind of thing to Kaji, just because I thought I loved him. But you are only one left here right now." She swallowed before continuing. "By the way, what have you been up to since I was out of it?" The dark shadow covered Misato's face as soon as the question was asked, but the older woman didn't say anything. "Nothing fun, I see." Asuka pointed out.  
  
"Not really. After you... left seventeenth angel came. And died." Misato sighed. "The Angels are no more. But I don't feel relieved by that fact." She remembered her vengeance speech and wondered if she had any real idea as to what was coming.  
  
"I know about Rei," Asuka said suddenly.  
  
"What?" Misato asked, the comment catching her off guard.  
  
"I said I know about Rei. That she is a tool, clone."  
  
"How?" Misato asked..  
  
"When I was there, in that dark room, I saw how Rei... was made. The Commander is playing god." The amount of pity in her voice startled Misato.  
  
"Not anymore. Ritsuko destroyed the rest of them. There will not be any new Reis after this one."  
  
"What happened to Ritsuko?" Asuka asked. Something in her guardian's voice told her that the doctor had been punished for her actions.  
  
"She's being court-martialled. Normally it would have been an instant death sentence, but I don't believe that the Commander wants anyone to know about his little teen girl factory, and if he had just killed her, then people would have asked questions... questions that he couldn't stop." She was well aware of the ice in her voice, but she didn't care.  
  
"Sounds cruel. She didn't make any plans... just pulled the plug?" Asuka asked in surprise. "She was smarter than that the last time I saw her."  
  
"Yeah. She just cracked, I guess. Something about the pain of being second place. She is still acting like nothing means anything, though, like the end of the world is coming. Like she knows something what I don't," she explained, her frustration showing clearly.  
  
"Sounds bad," Asuka said. "Now that we've talked a bit, and I've told you more about me than ever before, I want to make a request of you, if I can."  
  
"What is it?" Misato asked with a sigh. She had thought Asuka was simply trying to open up more.  
  
The girl was quiet for some time, and held onto the table firmly with both hands, her knuckles turning white from the pressure. It was like she was bracing her heart and body for a horrific storm. "I want to resign," she said after a long moment of silence.  
  
"From what?" Misato asked, but she already thought she knew what was about to come.  
  
"I don't want to be a Pilot anymore," she whispered so quietly that Misato could barely hear her.  
  
Misato closed her eyes to make sure she wasn't still sleeping. There was no doubt about it. She was awake. "That is something I don't hear every day from you. I thought it was all you ever wanted."  
  
"So did I. I first felt that same feeling. I felt at home when I was piloting... and when I knew I was needed. But now I only feel cold and hollow, like it was not all I thought it was. I want to see if there is anything else, if there is anything more to life that that. It doesn't bring me any joy anymore, and all I know is pain and suffering, and I'm tired of it. I quit," she said firmly. "Besides, with all the angels destroyed, it is really just a big toy. A big, dangerous toy."  
  
Misato didn't expect the response she had received, but she also knew that Asuka had done more than her part in this war. just like everyone else. "I can't accept," she said slowly. Asuka began to open his mouth to protest but Misato continued before she could. "Hear me out first, please."  
  
Asuka nodded, though it was obvious that she was a little angry "Alright."  
  
It was then Misato's turn to draw a deep breath before speaking. "We all thought that when the angels were gone, it would be over. And we would be in peace, finally. That is not the case, though. I think that something bad is about to happen. I can feel it."  
  
"What, the end of the world?" Asuka asked sarcastically. Misato's serious look shocked her. "Hey, hey... I was only kidding," Asuka said quickly.  
  
"You said once that Evangelions are robots. Seems like that isn't exactly true. I don't know what is coming, but I know we are all going to be in danger. A lot of danger. That's why I can't let you go yet. I have to ask you to be ready for sometime, for whatever is coming for us," Misato explained. "They may be toys, but like you said, they are big, dangerous toys."  
  
Asuka sighed. "Christ, doesn't it ever stop?"  
  
"Hopefully it will. I'm going today to the Magi Central System to get to the bottom of this." She then paused, and looked into Asuka's eyes. "Well?"  
  
"Well, what?" Asuka snapped.  
  
"Will you pilot?" Misato asked.  
  
"Never thought someone would have to ask that of me..." Asuka snorted. "I'll do it," she confessed after awhile. "If the world is coming to an end, then I would be killed too, and that's the last thing I want right now. Just promise me one thing, okay?"  
  
"Anything," Misato replied immediately.  
  
"That this is the last time," Asuka said.  
  
"I promise. After this is over, and everything is said and done, we will all go do something relaxing... together. Alright?" Misato answered.  
  
"Good. I could go for that," Asuka admitted, and they then both fell silent again. 


	4. Fisherman

An, KnightOne: Your mongrel is back. Did you miss me?

You did not.

But I'm still not let the hope of being heard. It seems I could just die away and no one probably would notice. Shadows is posting his reviews here out of courtesy which I'm thankful of, did he knew it or not.(now he knows.) Would be nice to have other reviews, or is it just that no one here doesn't bother to look at it, because some one else has done it better?

Yes it is that, isn't it? It's just waste of time to deny. There are tons of writers who do better job than I, I mentioned one in up. Today one part of this fake dramatic failure is to be posted, as horrible as it is.

There is nothing what I hate more than fake drama, but I do it myself so where does it lead?

Someplace else. This fic...is soon to be ended. And to this you should give value. Should have kept this a one shot fic...wonderful failure...that was how Evangelion without EOE has been called.

Enough of sadness. Read.

Exodus chapter 4: Fisherman.

Shinji sat near the lake what had born there out of accident, or more like cursed cycle of pain. He remembered how this used to be centre of the city. Here he had seen other spend most of their time.

He really never had taken any part to it, just drifted along with his friends.

Friends...all gone except maybe one. He couldn't know anything for sure. Grey beach of stone which had sometimes been street and somewhere in lake couple buildings who still stood like they were not willing to die. He heard some debris to fall down. Distant rumble what reminded a thunder roaring for lost time.

Somebody said that friends are everlasting. How come they left him.

Rei. The one who had relationship to his father. Not so long ago, maybe ten moths ago he had wished that he could have what she had with her father. Now, he didn't knew what kept her bond with him. Maybe it was that she had always gone trough the same...never seeing anything else.

She couldn't like to be used...but maybe she does...Shinji shook her head and decided not to think about it. He couldn't do anything to her...and it filled him with disgust. Again seeing how she suffered, and knowing that he couldn't do anything to it.

Misato. Long he thought she act the way she did because she didn't care. He never thought it could be her way considering him part of family. But then she was crossing line with her vengeance. He knew some time that she was doing her job because of hate. He thought something like that. He chuckled by himself. She hardly was an idealist. She was still unclear, other hand she wanted her revenge but she didn't want to see them suffer...but with last angel the part what wanted revenge won. "Its a fact, sortie." Shinji repeated. Now when it was done he didn't know did she want him to stay, or leave...maybe she was trying to find out easiest way get rid of him.

"Not wanted then...nor now." He sighed.

Kaworu was only who said those two words in the most horrible moment of his life, but they actually felt soothing, for that moment when he did what he had to kill him. Was this all worth it?

Now Asuka had returned. She felt different and almost understanding. But maybe she was pretending...like those people around him. How could he knew she wasn't? She was doing it every time. When she had to find something wrong it was almost immediately him, and everything was going wrong because of him. Maybe she liked it. When she told him to scram and leave her alone he did because he thought it made her feel better. But in the same time it made her feel worse, how could he ever be at peace? She just never said what she really wanted. Maybe she wanted him to leave...easy.

"Yes..." He thought. It was better to leave them. They didn't need him or want him why would he have to stay? Only thing what he was, was source of pain and misery. He rose up from stone, gazing over the fake lake. Sun was almost intolerable...and chirping was beginning to ache his ears. 'aren't going to miss that...'

Suddenly something was hearing trough the endless chirping...humming and a song.

Melody was gentle and words were little dark but some way not feeding sorrow.

It was coming somewhere near.

_Only once my dreams _

_I got to see _

Didn't feel the smallness 

_under the stars _

_Once I got bars on my cradle _

_As a prisoner I write a letter from there_

Shinji looked around. He didn't see where it came but it was a male voice, and it was leaving all sounds under its shadow. He wondered how so silent voice could do it. Then he heard it again.

_My Creator, let me come to you _

_as what my child thinks I am_

He now saw where it was coming. A man. sitting some way across the broken beach, on higher rock rubble which was maybe four feet high. He was rather odd looking. He had same length hair as Shinji, but it was purple like Misato's. His clothing was almost as reversed from him. He had black shirt with longer sleeves than him, and white grey trousers. He was sitting in a rock, higher than Shinji, and holding something with two hands.

_In you the beauty of the world _

From which death made me an artist 

Man song again. Even word death didn't made him feel bad. He wanted to see who was singing. Hastily he begun to walk nearer. Man hummed again melody, what Shinji guessed to be classical.

_My Creator, let me come to you _

_as what my child thinks I am_

Now he came almost head to head with him. Distance was somewhat about maybe five meters.

He was keeping a stick with his hands and he was only seeing his face from side profile. He had closed his eyes. And once more he sang.

_Created my own heaven here _

Let me get away 

For little more he chanted and then he stopped. Wind out of nowhere blow and he smiled. Then in all suddenly he turned his face to his and opened his eyes. They were same color as his and were gazing him intensely. Shinji startled immediately and turned his head away. "Hmm...I didn't know that I have audience." Man spoke softly.

"I...I'm sorry if I bothered..." He took couple steps backwards, readying to leave.

"That's okay, fishes aren't afraid of sounds. They are deaf." Man said and took better grip waving his fishing rod, like teasing something to hit the hook.

"There is no fishes here." Shinji said knowing that this lake here was only artificial. He was still hoping an excuse to leave. All though he was familiar he radiated something which felt cold.

"I don't know that. I haven't tried, so how would I know? It's like people." Man spoke and turned his head to lake.

"What?" Shinji asked wondering. Now his want to leave had calmed. What ever had made him feel cold seemed only refreshing now.

He turned his face to him and smiled. "Fishing. You never know what..."Man stopped and his lips bended looking like he was going to say something repulsive. "..sea..." he relaxed and kept little pause. His smile was gone, but he was eased after saying the word. "...offers until you try. Peoples doesn't show their feelings anymore, its harder to find open people today...but what keeps you trying?"

"Pain." Shinji said confident. Knowing it all too well. "They always lie and betray..."

"Suffer, suffer, till brightest crown...." Man said showing little longing in his voice looking up.

"Uh?" Shinji lifted his head now feeling little easier. This wanderer was some how familiar.

"Old saying. It means that suffering is a way to better life. Of course its religious...but its only one. Another one is 'The One who has the pain, the one pain shall hide' Sounds familiar?" He asked again looking at him with his brown eyes.

"I...have tried that." Shinji had tried to hide every aspect of pain because others didn't like it.

"And?" Man inquired.

"Does it really concern you?" Shinji asked little suspicious. Who ever this one was he wasn't going to begin to tell his story to complete stranger.

"No. I know that all ready." He said. and took again glance of the lake.

"What do you...?" Shinji asked.

"Another phrase...'The one who has the fortune, the one shall fortune hide' how about that?" He asked. Lifting his head to Shinjis direction.

"That one...no I don't know that..." Shinji said after thinking. "Why are you here?" he asked now little interested. "Every civilian has been ordered to leave."

"I said already. This lake its like this town artificial, and only few is left...but let me tell you something. There is still hope." Man said now looking the lake more waiting.

"Come again?" Shinji asked. What hope? He knew what everyone wanted, he to go.

"There is fishes in this lake. Its like a person...if I try hard enough, maybe it rewards me. Maybe I'm just here because the lake, not to have fishes." He spoke again, having Shinji first time to understand what he was meaning.

"Or what if it just is silent?" He asked.

"If just being here gives me enough...what I need why should I leave? Actually I'm not really care for this fishing." He said. "I'm here for seeing...the lake."

"Why?" Shinji inquired hoping not to have confusing answer in return.

"I..." He was first time little unsure. "I was part of certain...group. Before her, I was alone. Abandoned. No one wanted me..." He said now sounding sad. "Then one of them noticed me. One of them didn't see me like others...she cared. And was ready to sacrifice herself. It felt wonderful..." He sighed.

"That someone was suffering...?" Shinji asked little jumpy. This man was first asking questions and now he was opening. Part of being abandoned felt familiar.

"No." He said confident. "That someone wanted me, and some one loved me...no matter what. She kept me always better and never understand why everyone turned me away...it was good to feel to be accepted, to be something greater." He said remembering something good, what was now past.

"Sounds like a dream." Shinji said feeling slightly better than before.

"Our...religion...told that sea is source of all evil, and it cannot be trusted Its dangerous and treacherous. They feared and hated sea...but lake was something natural, like a tear." He shook his head. "I have left it behind but it still haunts me...for end of my life."

"What happened?" Shinji felt now that he wasn't in danger. If this really was just a wanderer he couldn't hurt him, and this man hardly was a killer.

"It got complicated. We..." he started but then stiffened. "I got a bite!" He yelled suddenly.

"Really?" Shinji asked in wonder. "Are you going to pull it up?" he said.

"Sure." He took little grip on his rod and then spoke. "Would you close your eyes?" he thrown his head to Shinji's direction. He looked this time almost pleading.

"What?" Shinji asked.

"Do it for fun if not else?" he proposed.

"All right..." Shinji admitted. And closed his eyes. For one moment he heard nothing and then something rose from the water. He didn't heard anything like and animal trying to fight for its life but only water drops dripping. Man sighed agonised. "Again this..." he snorted. "Hmm...and this too..."

Shinji opened his eyes. And he screamed as he saw what man had catch.

Kaoru's head. It looked same like then, smiling and his eyes were bright.

Shinji slumped backwards and was on his back in the ground. He blinked his eyes and Kaoru's head was gone. "You couldn't do it, didn't you." Man stated little coldly, releasing his rod and raising up. He turned around. Now he looked little menacing. He had something hanging on his neck. Same kind of cross what Misato wore. But it had name Rex written on it. "Everything is fine..." he tried to calm him.

"And hell it isn't!" Shinji rose up trembling and his breathing shaking. "Don't come near me!" he shouted as he took couple step backwards, almost falling

"Shinji..."man tried to calm him again and took one step. To Shinji's horror he now saw where they were, same place where Kaoru had been when they met.

This didn't help but even made Shinji afraid more. How did he know his name? Was this somekind of new torment? Or illusion? These questions rushed in his head as he turned quickly but not quickly enough for his opinion and rushed to run.

"Wait!" Man shouted and looked after him and shook his head. "That didn't go like I wanted. Better try again."

Shinji ran harder than he had remembered. Like he was chased. He remembered that last time had been this kind of rush when Unit-02's head had crashed to shelter and he ran to his Unit-01.

But this time he was running away from unknown enemy. Somebody had done this all to remind what he was but why?

Buildings just swirled trough his vision as he was running trough the ghost town. "Have to get away..." he repeated all over. He had run some time and was about to find some shelter, and he came to stop in a closed cafe. He remembered this well because it was closest to NERV.

There he and his two friends had spend their time, because like always in his life every day was in his life a day to save mankind. There was still tables and some ketchup bottles on the few tables. Most people in this city had first time of their life been more afraid losing their life than losing their property.

Toji and Kensuke...he missed them both. Or maybe more he missed the time when he was with them. They didn't really understand him fully, but they didn't hate him. He had been difficult to adjust being with them, but he didn't really mind. At least he was wanted to be around. Still he felt bad that he had hurt his sister and later him...and both was against his will. He wasn't ever asked.

But he was asked. He didn't just know it then what was coming. It seemed unfair. What use is choice if only given is to choose to cut of your hand or cut of your leg? It all was too complicated. He returned back to old times, and to his amazement he wondered that he would even liked if everything was here like in the start, except for angels.

"What could it be..." He wondered. with out angels, he wouldn't had met him. Maybe it would have been easier. He pressed himself to wall and let sweat drops drip along his back beginning to relax. Wind blow again on his face. It felt nice. He began to hum to his self like wind was carrying a sing.

_I see my soul drifting away before my eyes_

_leaving my body behind ascending to skies_

_With only single word in my mind_

_oh please answer me be so kind._

Singing. Same kind singing like on the beach.

It was him. Shinji opened his eyes and separated a golden flash. Near a crushed building what was lower than others he was standing. His purple hair could been well seen there. And his voice was clear. "Are you really trying to hide the pain, or are you trying to hide yourself?"

"Leave me alone!" Shinji shouted back.

"Alas, that's the catch. You don't want to be alone." Man answered.

"What do you know about me?! What have I done to you?!" He shouted covering his ears in case he would hear something else and squeezed his eyes shut.

"To both, more than you think." He said. again Shinji could see trough his eyes a golden flash and blow of wind. He waited again fascinating and mesmerising tone to start, maybe for ten seconds.

When opened his other eye, purple haired man was gone.

"Thank god...now I'll---"Shinji's speak was cut down as he saw who was next to him.

Some how, the man had manage to get next to him with out making a sound, and in maybe five seconds. He was leaning to wall like Shinji keeping his eyes closed. But like Shinji he wasn't terrified. "We have to stop meeting like this. Other Diracs will begin to suspect..." man never got to finish.

Shinji took ketchup bottle from the table and thrown it towards his head, hitting his eye corner breaking the bottle to pieces. Man gasped form pain and waved his hand to his injury. Shinji ran past him and when he was half travel across the street he turned to see did he follow him.

Man had kneeled, keeping his eye corner covered. But now was something new. He was trembling. Shinji could hear quiet sobbing. "Oh no..." he said silently. It was one thing when man had chased him. Then he was strong, and ferocious maybe. But now he was injured and even crying.

Alone like him.

His conscience begin to get on him. Seeing him vulnerable was like watching himself crying in nights when everyone had abandoned him. Shinji took couple steps from the street. Even if he was going to kill him, maybe it was for the best...but in the other hand he just had ask questions.

Again fear that he would show those things to him, but he had to know was he injured more badly.

When he got closer past the cafe tables, man was leaning to wall to his left while being on his knees.

"Are...you...all right...?" Shinji tried carefully while still preparing to run away.

"I..." He said his voice almost cracking. "I didn't believe you would come back."

"Just..." Shinji swallowed. "What is it that you want?"

Man rose again standing up but he didn't turn to face Shinji. He held his wound with his left hand and spoke. "You are leaving?" He took support from the wall

"How did you...."Shinji rose his voice as again fear of unknown began to knock back of his head.

"Do you know what others want from you?" He asked now gaining back the certainty of his voice.

"They want me to leave." Shinji said.

"They have said it to you in face? With those same words?" purple head asked again.

"They act like they don't want me around. Asuka and Misato...they don't need words." He shook his head but at same time he saw man shudder when he said both names.

"Sometimes people doesn't just see what they are doing to others. And when they see they think like you, that its too late, and the person who has been hurt is too angry to forgive. So they let it go. And sometimes denial is just encouragement." Man began to walk away facing his back to Shinji. He took support from wall, and as he walked away he held his right hand over his head and left on the wall.

"Hey...where are you...?" Shinji yelled to after him.

Man only walking. "Before you leave this city, do this. Talk to them who were your friends and who have hurt you, and ask them what they truly want. Then do what seems to be the best. But don't go to Rei...you will see her and her mother later..." Man said and vanished around the corner.

"She doesn't have a mother." Shinji said not wondering where did he knew her.

"Yes she has." Answer came. Again he show something glowing behind the corner.

When it died out and Shinji walked to see what it was, hope of catching a glimpse of him.

Purple headed man was gone.

Shinji began to wonder was his words holding any sense. He rewind whole act and played it again on his head. He began to drift away walking same time.

He was just out of nowhere meet this one, and he had first talked to him like a wanderer. But the he did something which made him afraid. Why would any stranger want him to suffer? He didn't said anything what indicated that he was doing that...what ever it was on the lake just to see him suffer.

And the whole chasing was because he had run away not to even hear what he was about say. Story of his life. Again he thought the words he had spoke. 'Sometimes denial is just an encouragement' Did he meant Asuka? Or just all people?

He somehow felt familiar, but he couldn't recall where. And that was maybe the most uncertain thing why should he trust him.

Then he made a decision. Every time in his life he had escaped because his friend just betrayed him.

But this man hadn't promised anything. So how could he betray him? So he decided to follow his advice.

Toji and Kensuke were gone. He had maybe have courage to face toji if given more time, but both of them were out of his reach.

Rei...He had told that he would meet her later. Actually he wasn't really thrilled to see her...and was afraid that what was about to come.

So all it was left were Asuka and Misato. Two most uncertain facts of his life...Misato was maybe sober enough to hear him but then would she care...but only thing what he could do was try out.

Asuka had changed, in short time that he was almost sure it was just something what was about to pass by. But if it was what stopped him to try out? If she just wanted something she could just tell it over to him.

He practised how would he ask and answer what they would say, or more like he believed them to say. He never had been inside their heads so it was just assuming. When he was happy what his speech, he took a look from around. He estimated that he had been lost in maybe three hours or so, it was mid day. Maybe he would find himself home in night.

Or not.

He was again standing front of his home. watching it from the outside. "How did I...?" He asked from himself. But today was happened so many odd things that he decided not to wonder but face his fears for once more.

He ordered a lift to down and for once more repeated his mantra mustn't run away. When he came to his own floor he took couple steps and breathed deep. Even walk to his door seemed to feel like eternity.

He opened it slowly and walked to inside. "Asuka." He called from the door.

First he was hopeful when no answer came, and then also disappointed.

"In here." Bright voice answered. It was coming from the kitchen.

Shinji jumped a little and then straightened himself putting together all his courage. He began to walk there to find out what would happen next.

Outside of their apartment young purple haired man was looking at the floor where Shinjis home was. He was feeling happy with himself, for once doing something right. And he even wanted to laugh joyfully for long time. But didn't want to ruin everything by letting out some sailor laugh. He grimaced mid of his smile when sea again came to his mind.

Suddenly blown of wind lifted his hair and he could separate blue flash coming from behind him. He knew who was coming.

"You are here again." Sharp woman's voice spoke. "Still beating a dead horse, I see."

"Well, isn't that my favourite people of all. You really are interested my issues." Purple head answered little tougher tone of voice.

"Heh. You have changed, but not too much." Woman said gently.

"Really?" He answered hostile tone. He wasn't actually thrilled to see or actually hear her there.

"Now I began to understand why SHE..." Woman said little louder and purple haired man felt little tremble crawling over his skin, when woman mentioned it again. "Was so attached on you. You are too good for this world." Woman said like she was sorry. "Let it suffer."

"This world hasn't said am I bless or burden." He answered angrily. "They both had suffered more than anyone should, haven't they deserved to be carried?"

"Yes they have. But don't forget that they don't want our kind among them...That was the reason why you didn't told him, wasn't it?" Woman answered.

"He would break up if he knew..." Man answered. "I just want them to have a change."

"You haven't won yet." She snapped and then familiar crackling of energy echoed loud and blue flash filled all surrounding for while. The woman had gone.

"Maybe there is hope..." he said to himself and continued to watch building ahead of him, wondering what was happening inside.

End.

An KnightOne: This was the thing what I'll attach to Deimos king later. By the way that song in the beach was song from Finnish band called Nightwish. Album name is Once and song name is kuolema tekee taiteilian = death makes an artist. It was the whole sing and it even had cello music what fits to evangelion. Those who doesn't know anything about Nightwish should go check out 

Purple haired man and that woman behind him aren't ACC's as odd as it may felt, but they are not believe me. By the way I've began to hate this fic. How clear is it;) This is the second fic what I truly hate(and ironically my own), another one...well KnightTwo knows. (R- class fic which is popular)Because he likes that fic and doesn't understand why I don't. Both it and Exodus gives me anger enough to swear storm clouds to hell. Should have let this it be a one shot. Oh, I said it all ready. Be free to feel differently...And still about that purple haired man, if you read Remaking sometime, you will know who he is.

I've spoken.


	5. Wings

An, KnightOne; I'm here again.

Sorry about bleeding my self all over the last note. I'm just having those depressive moments of mine...actually I've had them at the best time three of them in three day, and I really don't understand why someone who I know has more reason to be depressed. I was about to have last author note even more self mocking, but I erased much of it.

How can I hate this fic? Like this. I hate this fic;) The reason to it is kind of between ridiculous and complicated.

I have told this before, The first chapter was done very quickly. I was angry to myself, seeing how voice, which was my first shot, bite the bullet. Simon told all the reasons, and I have nothing to add. I really didn't hate it, just person who had put it together...me of course. When cursing about couple hours something cracked, I just began to write and after five hours of working this saw the daylight. This fic is unnatural. First, it has a happy ending. We all know that it's nice, but whole Evangelion was partly so good because it let down every exceptions of its viewers. Think about it, did anything went like it 'should have'?

Diagnosis; this was meant to be a one shot. My mistake was that I continued it, because I wanted something to...believe in. The point is that this fic walks under nothing, I could compare it to chicken trying to fly, and a falcon kills it because its an easy prey. It just won't go, it just can't continue sensible. It's meaningless. I really didn't want to continue this because it feels too hollow. I don't have sensible plot line, I can't imagine anything what should go different.

Why? Lack of talents? Or perhaps it just the fact that I think that End of Evangelion was good, and I really 'liked' the way it ended. Majority thinks otherwise, but I think like this and if somebody can give me reasonable elaboration why it was 'bad' I can try to reconsider. I don't accept "It was too depressing." or "They deserve better." Both are true, but it's still work of art.

Back to my self-pity. To my surprise I was happy with the quickly born story. Now I hated it because I started to continue it. The truth is that I can't turn this into a decent S/A fic even if I had the best writer in the world to guide me. Why? Because I can't. And even if I would want to, it would just continue to be same hollow feeling in the background. I even now feel this too fake and like I said before, I hate that. So simplified: I hate this fic because its unnatural, wannabe drama stuff, walking over glass; copying same things said all over again and born because of my insecurity.

But maybe I can still make something out this. Like I said this whole scene is going to be in a fic 'Deimos King' and when you read 'Remaking' You have good idea who is that guy with purple hair. It's coming after 'Headhunter' has been finished. For proper S/A pairing you may have to wait 'Deimos King'. But my Number One concern is how to make 'Remaking' to work. It isn't going to be pretty...Three aspects of it is being very though to deal with. With Mazakarn, I don't expect problems. I maybe needing help, what I can count on, interested? I maybe saying this too many times, but I'm not hating Asuka, and Remaking isn't going to be 'lets just all hate her' fic. And

no new Eva's, no new Eva pilots. That I can promise

Now for last minute excuses. Vibious said that I was just lazy, well is this better? A fic which doesn't have anything sensible inside on it, what just seem to be like an attempt to evade being hanged? Sesshi's-so-sexy and lawless priest, (nice names BTW, personal.) maybe you understand why I have so hard time with this, maybe you don't. Dreka was maybe most near of truth. "Remember, you're writing for yourself. Not me or anyone else." I needed that, thank you. But maybe the worst part is that you guys like it and I don't. Amethyst wind, sorry that I haven't had time to read your pairing fic, It's an interesting idea, I catch up with it later. Dennisud, still letting you down at those grammar issues, can't help it. JonBob0008 if you still hear me, I'm sorry that email didn't accept your address, and this whole thing was drowned. To Simon I don't really have much to say, Just that I really don't believe I learned anything. I agree that this is better than my first, but it doesn't force me to like it. Don't worry about my feelings. They are meaningless. "Put some serious time into it and find some good beta-readers, and you could end up with one of the best S/A stories on " You are vastly overestimating me, but you aren't the first. To shadows thanks for everything you have done for me, I appreciate it, really. All though it may not sound much. Now you have one less loser to worry about.

And for all who read this and didn't review, thank you, and learn how to use your time more wisely.

And I apologise for wasting your time. BTW, Is it okay, if I bleed like this on here? I actually like to write these. Maybe its just a step to direction when my stories are only one page at length and rest ten pages are Author note only. Feels like I'm trying to explain in customs that "these 80 gallons of booze are really for own use." At least I'll be remembered a person who has much to say but little meaning.

Chapter 5

Wings

Purple haired man stood silently at some way from the block. He wasn't stranger in this city. And same could be said about woman who had now constantly appeared for maybe two weeks.

Maybe more, he had lost his sense of time. He had travelled far, but still everything seemed like he had never left. Return to here, where he had never left.

Maybe one of the questions roaming in his brains was, was he doing the right thing? This was like therapy to him. Was he really helping Shinji? Or only doing him more harm? Woman was right that he would probably die in shock if he had shown Shinji his true form.

"No..." These thoughts he needed last. He had to keep some goal in his dark life, or he would go mad again. He didn't have enough courage to go to them...even speaking with Shinji was difficult.

He didn't want to show those things to Shinji, but like she had said long time ago 'Nightmares never go away, they just transform and return as new.'

Now he focused all his attention to building ahead. And was dying to know what was going on.

And he would have loved to stand there and watch but there was someone who was needed in there.

In that room. time to go get her.

Asuka was still in the kitchen she hadn't left there, but just stayed trying to get herself back at this world. She just stared at small holes what here in ceiling. She really didn't know why they put holes on them.

Misato had been doing something important for all this time. The time she had been in coma she had just kept working, instead being worried. It didn't really made her feel good but it was sort of soothing to see that she didn't just left there, worrying about her when everything was falling apart.

Last angel was something what she had told her for awhile, and to her wonder was that Shinji had stayed in conscious. For once she had thought what it was like, to kill a friend. She thought what she would have done if Hikari would have been the last angel, what she would have done? Asuka drove that thought out of her head. She didn't want to thought this any further. But she was worried about lots of things.

First of them was did Shinji again hide somewhere. And for once she wasn't angered by that he was running away. More like disappointed, because he hadn't have enough courage to face it. Maybe it can't be helped, and if she just forced it, it became worse.

She stretched back to her chair. She had no idea what to do next. She didn't really had any plans after this 'last fight' or what it was. His father she hardly knew, and she hadn't had have contact with him for...very long time. She hadn't counted years.

Hikari was away. So this time she couldn't even ask advice even if she wanted. Hikari was always so solid, maybe only fact that was permanent here. And now when she was gone Asuka missed her.

And even pen-pen was somewhere else.

Now her only company was Shinji and she didn't know where he was, or was he coming back.

Door opened. Asuka's hearing gotten sharpen. She didn't move, but stayed and listened who was it. It could only be Shinji what she hoped, or Misato.

"Asuka" it was a male voice. Same voice what had first annoyed her, or more like she wanted it to annoy her. Some little reason to hate it's user. But now she had grew tired of pretending and she was surprised in the good way when she heard it.

"In here." She answered. For while being quiet her own voice sounded more louder than she remembered, maybe it was because she usually used her own voice to shout mainly.

Couple steps came out from the hall. She continued to watch to ceilings and small holes in it.

I didn't take for long when Shinji came out of the corner, she didn't at first paid him attention.

"Hi." She said.

Shinji stared her at with out saying a word. He seemed little spooked, and he didn't answer her greeting but stared at her for some time. Some time she just ignored it, and then spoke. "Take a photo. It lasts longer..."

Shinji turned his eyes away form her and Asuka watched at him. Little disappointed that he didn't say anything back. 'still the same...'

"Don't you know that photographing of Eva pilots, except for official documents is a punishable act?" Shinji said slightly eased. And lifted his head smiling a faint smile. "That's why there isn't any photos us in plug suits."

'little advance.' "It's public secret that we are pilots." Asuka replied.

"I guess." Shinji said and walked another chair and seated down. "How was the soup?"

"Delicious." Asuka answered instead of 'it barely went down'. "Like always." She added.

"Thank you." Shinji answered little confused, but not grumbling too much.

Again they were silent. And Asuka glanced again to ceiling. She sensed that Shinji had something in his mind, but he was still too closed to tell.

She decided to lift weight out his shoulders. "Where were you? Finding flowers?" she watched at him, looking how would he react.

He lifted his head. "I was catching fishes." He said for thinking a while.

"What was that? There aren't any fishes here, lakes are artificial." Asuka asked now little surprised herself.

"That's not entirely true." Shinji answered. "This guy kept just trying..."

"He's beating a dead horse. Talk about stupid...." Asuka grunted.

"He managed to catch some." Shinji said.

"What, a fish?" Asuka wondered.

Shinji shuddered after remembering what the man on the shore had showed him. "Not exactly."

"Your stories haven't changed after my nap." Asuka smirked.

"No." Shinji said. "I haven't had really time to do anything useful."

"So you call visiting me, as nothing useful?" Asuka said little too mean tone than she had intended.

"I...I..." Shinji stuttered. "Look I didn't..." He started, looking both afraid and hurt.

"Just relax..." Asuka said calmly. "You afraid too much."

"Yeah...haven't I got all the reason?" Shinji said swallowing and remembering familiar phrase. "The one who has the pain, the one pain shall hide..."

"I don't sign that..." Asuka shook her head.

"You don't?" Shinji asked wondering.

"No." She swallowed and looked out the window. "If you just keep the pain inside you it isn't going to go away. Do you know what happens next?"

"It only multiplies." Shinji said out of experience. "And then comes back."

"Yeah. And then you snap, getting yourself nice place at empty room...." Asuka said and shook her head. "Where you only can watch your nightmares. Straight at face." She rubbed her hand over face like she had just wake up.

"I'm sorry, didn't want to bring any bad memories up..." He started.

"Its all right, I can't go to coma anymore. Or maybe I can." She looked at the table her eyes empty. "But I don't want to."

"I don't wonder. Even my company beats being alone." Shinji muttered.

"You aren't that bad." She snorted. "Rather you than any of two..." she just stop mid sentence when she realised what she was about say. she turned her head and asked. "How is the jock?" Asuka hadn't heard any news not that she was then interested about

Shinjis eyes got little brighter when he heard her ask about him. But the he got suspicious.

"Are you asking because you want to know or just as a compliment?" he asked little tougher tone.

"Do you really want to begin that line?" Asuka answered frowning a little.

"No..." Shinji shook his head.

Asuka leaned forward. "So?" she asked.

"I don't really know." Shinji said shyly.

"What you mean you don't know?" Asuka snapped.

Shinji again jumped a little when he heard Asuka's tone to change. "I haven't talked to him...I couldn't face him after..." He squeezed his eyes shut. "It." He finished.

"You haven't even talked to him?" Asuka asked maintaining her sharp tone.

Shinji tiled his head. "No. I don't know what to do...what to say...I ruined his whole life..."

Shinji squeezed his eyes shut harder when hole even again came back to his mind.

"Right..." Asuka snorted. Shinji heard her rise and walking out of the kitchen.

"Hey where...." She was leaving. Leaving him alone. Whole thing coming here was a waste of time.

Desperation began again flooding his brains and he was about to rise and leave. Then Asuka came back. She had took the phone and stood at the door of the kitchen. "Come here." She said determined.

Shinji obeyed like in trance. He walked to her and for while they stand there. Then Asuka continued. "Now, You said that you don't know what to do?" She asked.

Shinji nodded shyly.

"Well then." Asuka smirked. "For your fortune, I know. Now you are taking this end of phone and dial to NERV. Then you will try to catch someone who know where that jock is now. And if they are trying to fob you with that need-to-know crap..." She laughed dryly. "You tell that you are pilot of Unit One and you are need to know. Anything unclear?" She asked smiling little.

Shinji was surprised about Asuka's sudden change of mind. He was sure that she was about to call him pathetic and tell him that he is hopeless. "What if they don't believe me?"

"They do. And if they don't, let me to get some sense on their head." She grinned and offered him the phone.

Shinji blinked but took the phone and slowly put in on his ear. "It's no use." He muttered

Asuka frowned. "Look, If you stay on the run you just die tired. You never reach anything if you don't even try. I have been trough a lot, and I have begin to value those who doesn't leave me even if I deserve that. So why don't you just stop and face it, then you know how things are even if you don't like it." She said staring Shinji intensely.

Shinji took the phone out of his ear, and looked Asuka little stunned by this outburst. "I meant that line is dead."

"And another thing..." She started again confident but stopped mid her sentence and blinked. "What?" she asked, when she understood what he had said.

"I mean the phone line is severed or something." Shinji hadn't it over, and Asuka took put the receiver on her ear.

"Oh." Asuka said.

Shinji smirked a little.

"Wipe off that grin." Asuka commanded. "After we find somewhere a working phone I'll make sure you do that call."

"Right." Shinji nodded.

Asuka watched at him, and then spoke. "Why the line is severed? Have there been any storms...." She stopped after she remembered, and looked down. "..since then." She smiled nervously.

"hey..." Shinji put hand on her arm. "You are trembling..."

Asuka didn't first react that before she took deep breath and closed her eyes. After while she felt bad memory letting go and whispered. "Yeah. I'll be just fine...That was kind of stupid...cables are underground, no storm could cut them..." She opened her eyes and now for first time that Shinji had touched her.

This time she wasn't angry though. But to her surprise it felt good. She knew that she wasn't alone.

Shinji was there, and he cared not for some shallow thing, or just for pity. This was one of his hidden assets, what was under his own shell. And she just wondered why it was so deep inside him that she couldn't even see it.

She smiled faintly. And Shinji let go. "Sorry..." he said again taking couple back steps.

Now Asuka's good feeling begin to change in to a irritation. She wanted to hit him but different reason than before...No, for same reason. so that he might some day grew strong enough and get some spine on his act. 'Hasn't really worked out.' She thought. Maybe change of tactic was in order.

"That's okay." She said. smiling again.

Shinji was waiting a hit what was about to come, but instead he got was calming words. He had took her arm to his part of his need to know was Asuka changed truly or just acting...acting for reasons of her own. Looked like she had changed, or then it was an good act.

Maybe he should just ask directly. "What....what happened to you?" he asked. Little confused.

Asuka shuddered, and was again about to return to her old ways but maintained her self control, even giving Shinji little disapproving look. Then she decided that maybe her changing was much about to handle him without explaining. "It's a long story." She said warningly.

"We are not in a hurry. Are we?" Shinji asked carefully.

"No. Guess we are not." she said. and walked like nothing had happened to living room.

She slumped on the sofa and sighed. "Sit down." She said, hoping that Shinji would have understood it by himself.

Shinji did what she ordered not sure to wait what was about to come. But man on the lake had suggested that he would felt easier if he just asked directly. He sat down on the sofas other end. Asuka looked like she was about to gather strength.

"Right..." she breathed deep. "Have you ever just had these moments when your whole world turns upside down, and no one else sees it? They just don't understand when every single thing takes a new meaning, and you see things and people differently?"

"All the time." Shinji sighed. His whole life has been a change. To worst usually. Trace of sadness wiped over his face for second, but he drove it away and concentrated to listen what she had to say.

Asuka saw his sad look and felt empathy. Part of this all she have began to see that Shinji felt almost like she. There was no need to explain this to him. "Well that's what happened to me. It was like punch in the face, you know."

"I'm kind of expert on that field." Shinji answered.

"First hand knowledge..." She chuckled. "Literally. I think now it was maybe making things worse..." She said.

"Really?" Shinji wondered.

"Well, at least you know what not to do around ladies. And I guess that you know can take more hits..." She answered.

"Don't know about that...it just not the body what is suffering." He said little anguished.

"Yeah." Asuka added. "Flesh and skin just get heal after while...but...." She couldn't talk about it but was sure that Shinji understood what she was meaning.

Shinji stared at her again. She was maybe the most unarmed now but not weak. Still carrying on.

Why he wasn't like her? She looked so strong but suffering was also familiar to her. Maybe subconsciously he followed advice what he was given.

"Anyway..." she continued. "After while of denying and arguing happened this: I simply got the facts before my eyes and it was like somebody had said: It doesn't need to be like this, it can be like this too."

"What are you meaning?" Shinji wondered.

"Aah...thick headed as always?" Asuka noted.

"Sorry." Shinji answered.

Asuka didn't actually surprised and she didn't meant it as an insult, but ignored it and continued.

"That there is something else out there. And I just kept thinking that my purpose was just piloting, and nothing else. I had never any Idea that it could stop, nor I wanted to."

"I only waited the day that I wouldn't need to pilot..." Shinji answered.

"You never thought of quitting?" Asuka asked. She knew that Shinji had tried but never understood why he returned.

"All the time." Shinji sighed. "I left forever, for couple of times saying no, this time I want come back. And next thing I knew I was on Eva's entry plug, chanting 'I mustn't run away.'"

"So why didn't you?" Asuka asked,. She could've never turn back then. Her whole life centred on the Eva.

"I think that I didn't have choice." He said.

"But...?" Asuka asked demanding.

"I lied to myself." Shinji answered. "It was much easier. To say 'I didn't have a choice.'"

"It comes to that. Always. Sometimes there are nothing but bad choices, and just choose the least bad." Asuka trying to sound cheerful.

"It doesn't really comfort." Shinji replied.

"No." Asuka said silently.

They didn't talk each other for a second or two. Then Shinji remembered his reason to be there.

"What do you want?" Shinji asked like nothing, he felt it now more easier.

Asuka was surprised when he asked it. It was like giant leap from thing to another.

"Why do you want to know?" She snapped again with her usually sharp tone.

Shinji swallowed as he sensed moving into a dangerous field. "I....I...." he stuttered.

"Spit it out!" She yelled and stood up, as her usual style fists resting on her hips.

"Well you always said that you..." He stopped when he noticed that Asuka walked closer.

"Yes?" She repeated more demanding tone than before and was now right next to him.

Moment of truth. If he ever wanted to know it was now. "...That you wanted to be alone...that everyone of you was just a..." He stopped when he heard...laughter.

Asuka was laughing gently. "Was that really it?" She asked

"What's so funny?" Shinji asked, little hurt that she was laughing when he tried to be serious.

"Aaw...nothing." she said and sat down next to him. "But you should have seen your face!"

She chirped. "I thought that you were about to crack right there."

"It was close." Shinji said. Before this kind of closeness with her would been awkward. But now he didn't mind it. He felt more easier when someone was around, but now with her he felt something else.

"Well..." she leaned back to sofa "To answer that I really don't know. I know what I don't want.

"What?" Shinji asked curious.

"Pilot the Eva and be alone." She said quietly.

Shinji think a moment before continuing. "Who are you and what did you done with real Asuka?"

He laughed again. "Ha! You remembered that I always stared those old movies."

"What's wrong with current?" Shinji asked.

"They are too...mainstream. Nothing wrong with mainstream..." Asuka took that line form maybe old comic or somewhere else.

"...some of my best friends are mainstream." Shinji finished.

Asuka smiled. "Except that nobody is..." She said. "Well, back to that life thing. I really don't know what to do, maybe just need to find something what I love to do. Think about it: I could actually made a living from something what I like. Not to make somebody else to care but found somebody who care me because of my self."

"A living dream." Shinji smiled. "Best thought what I have had for many years...and it could be true."

"If it only let to live." Asuka said. "That's wrong with today. Everybody wants to be happy but nobody is willing to do any work for it. And somebody even get everything for free and they don't even know it. So how about you?"

"Hmm?" Shinji took a glance to her when this conversation turned to him.

"What do you want?" Asuka asked her eyes intensifying on him.

Shinji suddenly felt himself really warm. And for while he didn't get any words come out of his mouth. "I...I...same what you..." He finally gagged it out.

"I knew it!" Asuka almost yelled. "Now because we are both lonely and have much time to spare, how about a pact?"

"A pact?" Shinji asked confused.

"I thought something like this...If you promise to keep me alive for winter...You knew that I'm not much of a cook..." she said. "I'll show you how to use your elbows."

"My elbows?" Shinji wondered.

"How to get on life...how not to fear...you know. If just promise two things..." She said quietly.

"Well?" Shinji asked.

"Don't let me starve..." She said cheerfully. "And don't leave me alone..." Last parts she said with a solid and confident voice like she had tried to practice saying it for a long time.

Shinji found himself in a situation what he didn't expect. He almost could have cried. He wasn't unwanted. He hadn't felt this good for a while and didn't knew but to say this. "I...can do that..."

Asuka grabbed gently his had to her own. Shinji felt blood boiling in his veins as they were both closed each other, and only once they had been so close. But this was different not show off. Or act.

Like in trance they both set their eyes on each other and began to move even closer. This moment Shinji didn't felt alone or he even remembered what happened at the beach. He felt that he wasn't pushed away.

Something would have maybe happened if they haven't heard the door opening. Someone had come inside with keys. And only one who had keys here was misato. "Is she back so soon?" Asuka wondered.

Misato came to living room looking both shocked and happy. She was looking better than yesterday. And when she saw them holding hands her smile just get wider. "Did I interrupt?"

"Something like that." Asuka replied.

Misato smiled and looked at Shinji. "Back again? How are you?"

"Fine." He said. "What is wrong?" Shinji said looking at her.

"Nothing... I just feared that you might not be here..." Misato shook her head.

"You should put more faith on him." Asuka smirked. "Why are you here? Didn't you went to NERV?"

"Something...or Someone came up." Misato said looking wearied.

"What are you...." Shinji started.

"I didn't come here alone." Misato answered and looked down to hall.

Slow steps began to echo from there. And to view walked A man. He wore short sleeved black shirt and grey trousers. On his chest was residing a necklace. Almost like Misato's own. He had brown eyes and purple hair, and if Asuka hadn't knew better, she had thought that Misato's relative had come to visit.

"He said that he knows you." Misato said and looked at him some reservation.

"Hello Shinji." Man spoke. "It's been a while."

Shinji didn't anymore tried to run, or escape. He didn't felt him anymore threatening. Now there wasn't the one who wanted to hurt him. He didn't know his motives, nor he cared anymore. "Yes. Its been..." He tried to get his name but didn't remember him telling it. Then he remembered his necklace. "...Rex."

Rex jumped a little when he heard that name but didn't react any other way. He saw that Asuka was holding Shinji's hand. "Seems like everything is clear now."

"Depends what you mean by clear." Misato said darkly. "Pass ten minutes I know more than I ever thought."

"Now, excuse me, but what is going on?" Asuka asked feeling herself little outsider.

"Sorry. This is the one who I told you about." Shinji said.

"That's nice. So you have friend who calls himself 'king', and likes to fish. You don't look much royalty, No offense." Asuka noted.

"Because I'm not. I'm no king, all though name says otherwise." Rex answered.

"It would be nice to talk about this for longer, would you now tell them what you said to me." Misato suggested. "I back your words."

"You really do speak nicely." Rex replied.

"If everything what I think is true, we don't have much time for chatting." Misato answered coldly.

"Quite true." Rex sighed. "Sit down, please."

Misato obeyed and took seat down next to Asuka and Shinji. "Now, tell us about Second Impact. You said that you know the truth. What is it?" Misato demanded.

"The truth...that is very relative. You know about the giant of light?" Rex asked.

"That thing which is on nailed on cross down below?" Asuka had heard how Misato told her about her suspicions before leaving.

"No. The one who melt Antarctic." Rex answered. "Second impact wasn't an accident."

"Yes, the angel caused it...what news are that?" Asuka said against.

"Adam had actually little to do with it. Most responsibility fell for humans who wanted it to happen. Of course they needed Adam to do it, but it could have been avoided. They just didn't want it."

Rex answered.

"Like Kaji thought..." Misato sighed.

"Presumed that I believe you, which doesn't mean I do.... it makes no sense." Asuka snapped. "Why would anyone want so much death and chaos?" She inquired.

"Easy. For power shift." Rex said. He guessed that Asuka was maybe the most sceptic to believe him. Shinji was believing because of Misato, and Misato was just believing because she knew much of the truth all ready.

"Power shift?" Shinji wondered.

"Do you know what power UN had before second impact?" Rex asked, now addressing Shinji.

"Almost none." Shinji said. "They had little political power, most of members did what they wanted, not caring what UN had to say, they could only assign commercial blockades. They didn't have own army." Misato and Asuka looked Shinji surprised. He didn't really paid attention to few history facts what school told them on history lessons. "Kensuke." He said like it explained everything. "He just babbles this kind of stuff." Misato and Asuka nodded understanding.

"Compare it the power they had now. Army, Satellite grids, Navy, Airforce and own networks." Rex said. "You see the difference."

"But how it happened on practice? Surely big countries..." Misato started.

"Yes. They did resist, but not for long. They had Army and Money. Why to bend? Because, what use is for Army if enemy is a giant wave? And what use is for money if there is no food to buy?"

Rex asked.

"Not much?" Shinji guessed.

"Exactly." Rex pointed. "When second impact happened, there was economic crises, insurrections you name it. UN's security council had prepared though. Exchange for full co-operation, they promised to care for their problems. In fifteen years, tables had turned."

"And what, they rule the whole world?" Asuka said slightly amused.

"Almost. They had been working on with this for some time." Rex said.

"You keep saying they. Who?" Misato demanded.

"Group of twelve. They call them selves SEELE. Asuka probably understands." Rex nodded to her.

"Soul?" Asuka asked confused. "Why they call themselves like that?"

"Because their goal. They want to create new human, without flaws." Rex replied.

Asuka snorted. "Now I understand."

"For Germanys close history it was only..." Rex stopped and look for a good word to describe it. "'appropriate' to use German terminology."

"I'm not really proud about that." Asuka said deafeningly.

"I didn't think so. This is where Eva's come to picture. They are their way of control. If an angel and Adam connects happens a Third impact, which they can't control. But if viable substitutes unite, there would whole new order in this world." Rex elaborated. "And the Humanity would evolve to higher level, under SEELE's control."

"What are those...substitutes?" Shinji asked.

"Eva based on Adam, and the second anvil." Rex said.

"Wait...the Second anvil?" Asuka stopped him wondering what he was meaning.

Rex suddenly turned pale. He wasn't about to say that on loud. "Eeh...I meant of course unit one. It's different. Instead of being based on Adam it's done from Lilith."

Asuka forgot Rex's mention of second anvil, and inquired. "Lilith?"

"The thing nailed on the cross, in terminal dogma." Rex noted. "Misato and Kaji were on right path, but they just lost the trail for a moment. Mankind's mother has always been there."

Awhile there was a silence. "This is ridiculous!" Asuka snorted. "How do we know that you are telling the truth!" She accused.

Rex smiled but there was no trace of humour in it. "You don't. Maybe I'm just a puppet of SEELE, send here to take care of problems at hand." He said darkly. "And maybe I'm just here telling this because I'm sadist and want to see my prey squirming a little..." He took one step closer to them.

Now Asuka shuddered and Shinji too felt himself threatened.

"Rex..." Misato said tiredly. "leave it.".

Rex laughed a little, removing tension. "I just had to do that. You really think that if I'm an assassin I would waste my time? I had plenty of opportunities."

Asuka swallowed and Shinji felt himself safer. "What comes to my truth...If angels and Eva's are existing, why not this too?" Rex asked.

"Let me get this right...Mankind is in this whole mess because of its own stupidity?" Asuka announced.

"Because twelve men's sight of eighteenth angel, yes." Rex nodded.

"The eighteenth?" Shinji asked.

"Humanity came from lilith. Other angels were just possibilities what we could have been, humans with out human form. We can't coexist, so either they or us. Thus we all are the eighteenth angel, you, me, and Asuka. But I don't know about him..." Misato nodded to Rex, who was silent and seemed preoccupied for a moment.

Rex didn't say a word. He seemed to lost his own thoughts and for moment forgot what he was explaining. "Mundus vult decipi, ergo decipiatur." He whispered.

Asuka hadn't surprised when Latin saying came out of his mouth . She had expected this.

"Right on." She said.

"Would you care for telling us too?" Misato bended so that her head came to view.

"Freely it translates: The world wants to be betrayed, so may it be betrayed." Asuka answered.

"So what are we going to do?" Shinji asked. "Hey...Rex?"

"Hmm?" he woke up and stared at him. "You want to stop them?" he asked almost sleepily.

"I can't just stand and watch..." he started.

"Wrong." Rex answered in tight tone. "You can. You can just stand there and watch. You can run away. And you can stop them."

Shinji jumped a little after Rex again played this question what he had rolled with Asuka moments before. "I don't want to let it happen... So I try."

Rex seemed glad when he heard this and looked then to Asuka. "You?"

"I just didn't wake up to be sent to the bed. Bring it on!" she yelled and jumped up waving her fist.

Shinji was amazed this kind of reaction but Misato smiled a little. "That's Asuka what I know."

She spoke.

"Hard as krupp's steel." Rex said smiling but then smile escaped when he received cold glance from Asuka.

"You didn't do that on purpose?" She said irritated.

Rex seemed to be little out placed. "I...sorry...didn't meant to say that." He plead with little familiar tone.

"That's okay. Just don't do it again." Asuka answered.

Rex nodded. And turned now to Misato. "You know my answer already." She said confident.

"I know. But I still want to hear it." Rex spoke softly.

"I'm with you...for Kaji...and for..." she looked both child what she had guarded with her life, sometimes failing, and sometimes succeeding. "...all of you." She said and throw particular glance for Rex.

For third time purple head seemed to lose his confidence before them. But then said little shyly "Thank you."

Misato smiled friendly and said. "You welcome."

Asuka and Shinji watched this whole thing wondering. "You know about him more than you tell?"

Misato now replied with similar tone like Asuka did before. "Something like that."

Asuka grimaced a little. "Same thing every time..."

"So how we are doing it in practice?" Shinji said.

"I have all ready done something with SEELE. I leaked some delicate Information about their identities, and agendas. And what most important their funds. They have done every legal and not so legal business. Money what they have gained from both exceeds proportion of China's, Russian's and U.S.A's state budget." Rex said.

"But you said that they control the whole world..." Asuka replied.

"Almost. SEELE do have some high authority members but most top of the lead is still in the dark. Plus if old veto vote still applies...well twelve megalomaniacs will soon get nice wrist bracelets, and couple hundred years forced leave in state hotel, big, hairy man named Bubba as their only company." Rex grinned. "But there's a risk." He said serious.

"If they do suspect something...there will be JSSDF instead of regiments of UN troops."

Misato said. "And they are going after you first." Misato sighed. "Now there comes the big favour I need..."

Asuka and Shinji looked at each other darkly. "I think I guess." Shinji said.

"Me too." Asuka said.

"The Eva's" They both said in unison.

"How they are so quick to understand things?" Rex asked amused.

"Company make's them alike." Misato said cheerfully.

"Shinji ist the one who can pilot...I not much use in there..." Asuka mused quietly.

"What...are you afraid?" Rex asked.

Asuka said nothing.

Rex was quiet too and said finally. "I can't promise that it will be painless, or easy. But whatever happens this is the last time." He said.

"Then...lets get it over with..." she answered. Misato and Shinji rose up and prepared to leave.

"But what guarantees that UN won't silence us too?" Shinji asked.

"Most of them doesn't even know what's happening here. They have delegated all this to security council." Misato answered.

"Public secret, huh?" Shinji noted to Asuka.

"If you dare to say 'told you so' if forgot what I said earlier and smack you." Asuka snapped.

"I wouldn't even dream of it." Shinji smiled.

They marched to car what Misato had parked in hurry. When they other where in car, Rex still stood outside.

"Are you coming?" Misato asked.

"I'll fly." Rex answered.

"Right." Misato answered.

"Fly?" Asuka wondered when she sat next to Shinji instead being in different seats like before.

Rex remained there, and next there was a golden flash and pair of glowing energy wings sprung out of his back. They crackled wit energy and light from them was competing with sun itself. Wings were almost ten feet long both of them. Rex seemed to stretch his hands and jumped to air. With couple solid wing slash he rose in the air and shined as bright star against blue sky.

"I'll be in there...waiting if something goes wrong." He shouted from the air.

"Okay...keep your eyes on the..." She thought for a while. "sky." Misato answered.

"Hit the road. We are in hurry." He shouted as he turned in mid air and began to glide with his wings towards NERV, pass the buildings.

Misato did as he ordered. Asuka and Shinji reminded there just staring their mouths wide the event.

They didn't even understood that car was almost flying over speed limits, but then again no one else was on the city.

"What?" Misato asked joyfully. "Haven't you ever seen a man fly?"

"When I was throwing Shinji around yes...but not like that!" Asuka yelled.

"Wa-was that real?!" Shinji stuttered.

"As real as ever. I almost got a heart attack when he appeared with those wings and said. 'would you please pull over.'" She laughed, and evaded debris along the way throwing the even tighter together.

"You know who he is?" Asuka yelled taking support from Shinji.

"I do." Misato said. "And before you ask I don't tell you."

"Tell what?" Asuka replied.

"Don't pretend to be stupid." Misato smirked.

"And that means that you don't tell to me either, right?" Shinji asked.

Misato sighed. "I promised not to tell..."

"You don't need to tell Rex that you told him..."Asuka suggested.

"Yeah and that would be perfect solution." Misato answered fatalistic tone. "It not about that, who or what he is more than enough to cause headache. Its for you own good, trust me. And besides if all begin to break trust where does it lead? He is the only one helping us now..."

This wasn't an answer what Asuka or Shinji wanted but they had to accept it.

Shinji didn't know did Asuka notice was where he was holding her from bit lower than she before would have wanted. He looked out of the window and saw something.

Alone figure. It was standing on top of one of the Tokyo threes buildings. It stand there for awhile.

Next he saw sparkling blue flash of energy and separated blue wings drawing against one of the buildings. Figure extended its wings and fly away.

"What are you looking at?" Asuka said and pushed herself to closer to window pass Shinji

"I just thought I saw something...it was like Rex, but it had blue wings..." Shinji said pressing against the bench making Asuka more room.

"It's gone now." Asuka said. "Do you know about that?" She asked from misato.

"Rex didn't mention anything..." She said sleepily.

Rest of the way was completed in full silence.

As Rex had told, they came. After an hour.

"Attention all NERV personnel. We are the UN peace keeping force. We are here to arrest Commander Gendo Ikari, for crimes against humanity, conspiracy against humanity and illegal use of UN funds." Came out in radio channel.

In command centre's screen was an impressive sight. Several hundred VTOL fighters in formation, and Armor battalions moving in column as they intruded to the city. APC followed them. They were not in prepared for battle as UN commander trusted that authority was the key to this.

And it was.

"I repeat...All NERV personel! You are to surrender with out resistance. Gendo Ikari is to be taken custody. Power down all defence platforms. Now!" Voice crackled through the com.

"This NERV Major Misato Katsuragi. We are surrendering." She said confident.

"Good that you understood to end this with out a fight." Voice boomed. "Were is the commander?"

"He has escaped in Terminal Dogma. And code locked the doors. It takes while. Unit One is frozen with bakelite, commander released it as his last act on here." Misato answered.

"See if you can dug him out there, and tell your security personnel to drop their weapons. We are arresting vice commander and doctor Akagi for interrogation." Voice ordered.

"Roger." Misato answered.

Outside things were quiet, but not for long.

Out of the distance, nine heavy cargo planes approached.

"Undefined planes, state your business."

Planes didn't answer to this call, but separated from formation.

"Last warning! We will open fire if you don't change course! This are is now demilitarised zone."

Planes did change course but after they dropped something.

Nine odd looking Eva units plunged out from the sky. They dropped down to their wings, and glided short distance to city.

"Open fire!". UN forces fired what they got, mobile artilleries, missiles, and tanks cannon fire.

Even couple soldiers were optimistic enough and fried their rifles.

None of them worked.

Mass production units were confused, or so confused as mindless monsters could be. They were stumbling around the buildings as they had excepted solid ground, and couple of them even got stuck between buildings. Eva's crushed troops under them and tried to hit VTOL fighters with their battle boards. Usually they didn't hit, but tried no matter what.

"Fall back! FALL BACK!" VTOL's flied trough steel canyons as their life depended on it, and it did. Couple of them tried little too hard, and crushed against collapsing buildings.

Rex followed the event worried. He had thought that he could avoid all this. But at least some of SEELE had managed to avoid being captured and set their last gamble. He only hoped that they couldn't get to Unit One, or Second Anvil like she use to call it.

Outside of his vision pair of blue wings was approaching. In secret and trusting to confusion their owner glided closer. "What are you going to do now, Rex?" She asked herself. "You can't possibly think stand against them?" Woman thought interested and tried to find good place to land.

Asuka was now terrified than ever before. She had to pull herself all strength what she had. She was acting strong to that moment when she saw her EVA again. She slowly had get into her plug suit and crawled to entry plug. She called her own past to aid her, but it didn't help.

Inside the Entry plug it only got worse. She drew her legs to her chest and now instead being proud, she feared. Everything seemed cold. Unnatural. "Stay in one piece..." She chanted now for herself.

But it didn't help. Only thing what she kept thinking was death, and pain.

In here she understood everything more clearly than ever. She didn't anymore wanted this...she couldn't hear comforting talk of Misato or Shinji...or even stranger carrying name Rex.

"I don't want to die...." She began to chant to herself.

Out of nowhere there was an answer. Not any mangled machine voice or faceless administrator person, social worker. "You are not going to die." Voice what she hadn't heard for years except in her nightmares, had suddenly came to life. "I'll protect you."

"Mamma...?" Asuka called. "You...weren't away...you were here!" She said joyfully.

She had a vision. She alone as a child in midst of forest...dark trees what had grew like her fear and insecurity...but now they were dying as something bright swept from the sky. Her mother came to her.

"Always watching over me...I thought the other were fools...I was the one who was stupid all along...I couldn't see you...but now I see!" Asuka answered.

"Asuka! You sync ratio is sky rocketing!" Misato yelled. "Are you okay!?"

"Better than ever!" She yelled. "How are things?"

"Not Good!" Misato yelled and Asuka could hear status report coming all over. "Rest of the Eva series is coming on to us!"

"Shoot me up!" Asuka said.

"But with out gear..." Misato replied.

"I don't need it, my mamma is here! We are going to do this once and for all...and tell Shinji that once I'm trough..." She lowered her voice a little. "We are doing it again this time not holding his nose... he understands."

"Like I understood anything..." Misato answered.

At the surface was in complete chaos. Mass production units were stumbling on every building.

Asuka looked around and noticed some of them in flames.

"That was my favourite boutique!" She shierked. "I guess most ugliest one did that!"

To her front was a series of grinning eyeless EVAs. "Little hard to pick one in this crowd...you will do!" She began to ran to the closest Eva. She jumped high up and crushed its skull with her own weight. She wasn't yet finished. She lifted it up and squeezed it like rug- and soon it gave up. "Erste." She hissed watching as other ones begin to prepare for strike.

Rex smiled to himself as he saw how Asuka had gotten her confidence back. His smile soon faded as he heard familiar voice to tease him. "Lovely day." Woman behind him said. Rex turned to glance at her. She had dressed in shirt, dark green one and sleeves almost reached her wrists. She wore jeans, and only jewellery she had was wrist bracelet where small where was something in small text. Her hair was odder than Rex had ever seen anywhere. Clean white hairs where black lines came out from her hair root continuing all the way down her hair. Her eyes were completely black and instead of Irises where whiter rings. Mid of each ring was a bright blue dot. Rex knew that in among her others she had been very beautiful, but in here she looked like a ghost.

They both watched as one MP-Eva got thrown in to a building, following by red giant what stabbed it with its knife repeatedly. After while red giant rose. Two gone.

"It's too warm for both of us." Rex answered. One white unit tried to surprise her from behind.

It failed. Giant unit spin around kicking it and tackling it to a building. Red Eva attacked immediately. It hit it's prog knife deep. Too deep. MP didn't rise but red EVA's prog knife was gone.

Three gone.

"Mistake." Woman said sounding sad. Another mass production unit flied trough the air, trying slash Asuka with its battle board. Asuka evaded and grabbed its angle, swinging it out of course in to another pile of debris. Blade on prog knife came forward as she faced another one. She tried to hit it with her knife but it dissipated. Now with her weapon one she fought bare hands and break its neck in a wrestle. Fourth fall.

"I thought you were supposed not to care." Rex stated. Next one jumped high up and tried to impale Asuka with its board. Asuka jumped aside and kicked it repeatedly managing to separate it from its weapon. Those two spent a while in struggle. Then Asuka struck it against one of the buildings taken the worst damage and instead trying to beat it to pieces she jumped aside and begun to fall building down. In moments building collapsed taking white Eva with it. Its head came out midst of all debris. She gathered all her strength and kicked it as it was a soccer ball. Fifth filth was no more.

"No. I do care." Woman said silently. Watching as sixth attacked Unit Two from behind cutting its power cable with the battle board. Asuka turned so fast as she could and jumped away as it slashed her again. She grabbed the fifth one's battle board, rather surprising form its weight but began to hack its way trough. At last seventh managed to begin fight Asuka in blade lock. Instead of fighting it, she opened her shoulder compartments and out of her left shoulder came a deadly shower of metal spikes piercing its head. Sixth was gone.

"Why don't you help them then?" Rex answered wondering.

"Help?" She snorted. "How? We know that it always ends like this."

"Do we?" Rex answered.

"We are not supposed to get involved. Besides you are doing this for you self." She stated.

Rex didn't say anything. But watched as unit twos cable cut down. One MP unit had managed to cut it with its battle board. Asuka proceeded to duel with it. Heavy battle boards sliced the apartments apart. Asuka and another MP unit spent almost two minutes in duel. End was rather amusing. MP-units lance got stuck on one of the apartment buildings and Asuka slashed her own weapon vertically, spreading MP-units skull all over. Seventh one stopped.

"As I said you are only making them suffer for long. Misato was now the only one who could accept because she wanted something to give her more reason to believe that her efforts weren't in vain...but either blood breather would just...I don't need to remind you do I?" Woman said.

"No you don't." Rex was silent. She came rushing down to eight. They begin to hack each other with their battle boards, and again almost time what seemed short, Asuka managed to cut white evas wrist off. It dropped its battle board and Asuka dropped hers. She attacked it again with her bare hands.

"Coming and going. Coming and going." Woman repeated. "Watch."

It was down to two Eva's. one was One had came to attack on front of her but dummy plug lacked the experience from battle. Asuka began to crush it core with hands. Eva tried uselessly to struggle out of her grasp. Second from the left over EVAs had circled back to her, and was readying its battle board to a thrown.

"It's her end." Woman said darkly. "You did your best..." she turned to face Rex but saw that he was glowing a dim light. "What...are you doing?" she wondered.

"It's not! It's not!" Rex shouted as golden light began glow brighter. Among with was deep red blinks.

"You...you are not going to...." she gasped. "No! You can't! You will die! No one haven't ever..."she said panicking.

"Then I'll be the first!" Rex answered. Rex plunged out of his place like flaming arrow, leaving a line of yellow energy with shades of red behind him. "SUURRSSUUM COORRRDAAAHH!" He roared as he was accelerating to battle field.

"Madness!" She gasped painfully. She hadn't want to get involved. But now Rex's suicidal desire to repair his own mistakes had drive her to dead end.

The moment when lance began to penetrate her AT field made it all clear to her. She was about die.

She saw her good memories and most of the were rare and with Shinji. She now actually felt sorry that she could not see him again.

Suddenly Asuka saw a blinding flash. It impacted to false lance and tackled it out of its course.

Asuka didn't wasted time. She squeezed Eva's with all her strength and fake units core broke. Instead of blowing it seemed to began to boil, and collapse to a liquids but Asuka didn't paid attention she wanted to see who had saved her.

It was Rex. Glowing golden light he was standing in mid air staying in the air with his wings. In her knowledge none air rifts should had been able to carry him in the air. But he was saying there none the less. Only occasionally he slashed his wings. Asuka saw one Mass production model stopping its advance. Between unit two and it was lonely flash of light. The Asuka saw Rex taking something out of his pocket. Sword's handle. He kept it in his side.

Then suddenly blade sprung out of it deep silver coloured. It was about over meter long. She recognised it as an double edged katana. He hold it over his head. "Come here, Angelus mongrel!" Rex shouted waving his sword on artistic move.

Asuka began to move her Eva, but looked at the screen. Cable had detached, and her inner power had failed. She had a hope that she would get on this in time, but she had used too long of her time. Her other shoulder had yet a full ammo. "Damn it! Move away!" she shouted like he could hear it.

"I'm...." he seemed to stumble on his speech but after awhile he continued. "Deimos Rex!" he roared, and first time of his life he was proud with right reasons to say it loud. "I have run and hide for too long!" he stated. "I won't stand and watch, not this time! Do your worst!" he hissed.

Now Asuka realised that Rex wasn't there for just blocking the lance. He was going to attack on a monster Eva. "No way in hell..." she said, he couldn't win, there was no way he could succeed.

"I will break you!" Rex taunted.

And it came. It began to run down towards to unit two. Rex jumped higher with his wings and then took firm grip over his sword. He plunged again as bright flame right towards the running MP-unit. White Eva tried to catch him with its hands but Rex was too fast. Asuka separated spark shower from MP unit's shoulder as Rex sword met it, and himself passed between its hand and shoulder.

To Asuka's surprise sword cut trough units armor, and pink flesh came out. "MUURAAHHAALII DEEIMOOSH!" Rex shouted as he spread his wings and plunged again against his massive opponent.

Asuka watched at disbelief as Rex circled around his opponent as a angry wasp. That just wasn't possible.

The she heard a voice. "Hello Asuka..." it called.

"Mamma...?" she asked between her confusion.

"No...we have met yes...or actually not yet..." Woman's voice explained. "But you saw me today..."

"You...were than one on the roof..." she guessed. "How are you here...?" she asked.

"Isn't that just admirable?" Voice asked.

"What?" Asuka replied with a question.

"Rex." She said like it was a common fact. "He knows that he can't win...he's just doing this or drowning voice of his sadness...seeking for hope."

"He must be brave..."Asuka thought.

"heh...No. He is prisoner of his feelings...a swallowtail...with a human mind. But still he wants to try..." Voice sounded like it felt sorry. "Do you know what is bravery? Or courage?" female voice asked.

"I do." Asuka said confident.

"What then?"

Asuka didn't find words. She would have used her career as an Eva pilot to be example, but slowly she feel that it was maybe fear what made he pilot.

"Courage...only thing you know is to say 'I kill you, I hate you, I wish you'd drop dead.' But you know that doesn't make you special." Woman gloated.

"That's not true...!" She cried.

"It is." Voice answered. "Anyone can say those it's not difficult. You aren't special but you are so desperate to want to be...maybe you'll have your change...." The voices tone got serious. "You will die here."

"No! Mamma won't let me die!" Asuka shouted.

"She will. She cant help you...but you can help yourself...No Rex, No Shinji...time for choose. Rex is in trouble." Voice said.

Rex circled around his opponent. It was now full of his swords wounds. Rex roared again 'murahali', as he launched his attack. "He's doing just fine!" Asuka shouted.

"Look Again." Voice suggested. "Our mutual friend has overestimated his skills."

Without warning, mass production unit opened its wings. When Rex tried to evade by flying over its shoulder mass production Unit roused its wing and hit them forward, knocking Rex from mid of his plunge to backwards.

He still managed to stay in air. When Rex was drifting backwards holding his head and trying to stabilise his position. But he was still on Eva's hands range. It strike Rex with its fist and he flied uncontrollably in the air to down to city street. He slide along the asphalt for short range, lying down his wings disappearing.

Asuka grimaced as she watched the sight of grinning MP Eva to grabbed him inside of its fist and began to squeeze. Purple haired man began to sparkled golden light and his wing appeared again, now tearing insides of the large fist trying to crush him.

"Now little blood breather comes the moment what life is about. You can choose." Voice said.

"Choosing! What the hell has it to do with this?!" she roared.

"Everything!" Voice boomed. "Rex dies, and after that...so will you and your mother. Shinji will be left alone in this planet hell, losing you, losing everything on his life, now one telling him what to do. Now comes the moment of truth. You have seen what you were, what you are and what you want. Eject your entry plug!"

Other mass production models began to reactivate. All except the one what was killing Rex and the one what had its core destroyed begin to growl. They rose up. "You can't make me to choose between me and my mother...!" Asuka said as eva's begin to rise up.

"No I can't-but you will choose, no matter what you do. Easy. Swallow your pride, eject your entry plug, carry on living with or without Shinji. Or keep your grace for one moment longer, and huddle with your pain and misery, Dying name in your mother! Are you truly you, or a mirror image of your self? Choose now, blood breather!" voice stated.

Asuka knew that she was right. as she thought of losing her mother again, she came back of rewinding her memories again. Now memories were good ones, the rare ones she had almost forgotten. "I love you mother..." She gasped as her tears mixed up with LCL.

She pressed the ejection system, and felt her mothers presence to withdraw from her.

The plug flied trough the air hitting the street. As voice had said, MP-unit holding Rex threw him to street, broken and beaten he just stayed there bleeding from strikes and from last struggle. "I live and she dies again......what is wrong with this life?" the whisper came out from his bloody lips, as he lied on the street.

MP-units rushed to unit two and tear it apart. And after while there was no longer anything what reminded about unit two. And so Kyoky Soryu died.

Asuka wandered the streets of the city. she stumbled on her own legs as she wiped tears from her eyes. She felt like her whole world was crumbling down to her shoulders. Rex hadn't told her about that it was like this...if he knew he should have told. "That little...." She swallowed and let out more tears.

Suddenly she saw unit one shooting up to surface. Mass production models spotted it as well. Before a second had passed, they rushed towards it but halted as something else rose up.

Giant figure of Rei. It stared mass production models sharply, raising its hand came out a blinding flash, and MP-units dissipated to LCL.

Then it turned back to Unit one. "What do you desire?" Asuka heard it asking.

For moment there was a silence. Giant Rei looked like it was boring to unit ones pilot inside. Then she said: "Now I know. May you wish come true." Rei strike her hand trough units hull and took its pilot in her hand. She turned towards Asuka and lowered her hand towards her leaving Shinji lying on her feet's.

"I guess those five percents prevailed..." Asuka smiled as she took glance at Shinji sleeping like in peaceful dream.

Giant Rei stood up. In a bright flash like a million sun going nova in one second: Lilith, third Rei, Adam and unit one were gone, and they wouldn't seen in this world anymore.

Asuka took glance at his former rival and smiled. "You were late." Then she heard steps coming from her behind and saw him.

Rex was holding his side. All over him was wounds covered in black liquid. Asuka saw him watching Shinji warmly and she was felt with rage. This all was his fault.

"Don't come near." Asuka warned.

"What?" Rex asked wondering. He had just undergone his most dangerous moment of life and was barely alive,

"You didn't tell...You knew!" Asuka yelled. "You knew about them! Those monsters!"

"I did." Rex admitted silently. He had now pretty good thought why Asuka was enraged.

"Why you didn't tell about them...I could have prepared....I could have saved her..." she said tears running down her cheeks.

"I...Thought they wouldn't have time to...I'm sorry..." he started. "Listen, you couldn't have..."

"Sorry!?" Asuka shierked. "SORRY!? What you need to be sorry about....I lost my mother...not A cursed doll, machine or toy....my mother...you knew about her too?" She grumbled.

"I..." he began to took a step. Asuka was now more angered than ever. Even being defeated didn't hurt half of that much as losing her mother again.

"DID YOU!?" Asuka yelled.

Rex actually jumped when she heard her anger. "I...yes..." He said finally.

Asuka swallowed. "Go away." She said silently. "You took one of most important peoples away from me. You won't do it again." She threw Rex a murderous glance.

Rex was hurt his brown eyes were full of sorrow. They reminded so much Shinjis eyes. "Asuka..." he began. He wanted so much to feel that he had done the right choice but instead he felt that he had only made things worse.

"What's wrong with you?!" Asuka grabbed stone from the street and hurled it towards Rex. It hit his forehead. "GO BACK TO HELL!" she roared.

Rex closed his eyes as rock hit to him. It cut his forehead open. Instead of red blood came out dark black liquid. It bleed and looked like blood. Rex opened his eyes. Now brown eyes were gone. Instead he stared her with pitch black eyes where brown iris's were replaced by white rings.

Look hadn't changed. It was still pleading.

"Go..." Asuka whispered between her teeth. She was startled by Rex's odd appearance but she didn't care anymore. If he would attack she would fight back, did he had golden wings magic sword or freaked eyes, no matter.

Single tear came out Rex's eye corner. "May your...wish come true..." he whispered and rose back to his wings, vanishing to horizon.

Asuka watched at the horizon. It was all ready coming to half of the day.

"ugh..." Shinji moaned.

Asuka crouched to him. "Hi." She said. "Did you slept well..?" She felt anger letting her go as she took his head on his hands.

"Is it over..?" Shinji wondered. "Am I dreaming...?"

Asuka took solid grip from Shinji's head and pressed her lips to his. She felt his lips taste of LCL but didn't paid a attention. She let her old life's last remnants away with this kiss, and set foundation to future. Shinji was much like a dead fish, his tongue didn't respond her so much than time before, but he was still warm, and he wanted this. And not dying in suffocation.

She let him go and gently kept his head on her hands. "Well...?" She asked.

"I think I'm still dreaming..." Shinji said sleepily and smiled.

Asuka slapped him but not hard. "Did that wake you?"

"Now I want to go back to sleep..." He chuckled.

"Get up-I'm hungry. "She said as helping him to his feet. She hold his hand tightly.

"Where is Rex...?" Shinji asked.

"He..." Asuka began as sparkle of hate went trough her. "He died...One of the..." she let tear coming out of her eye as she remembered her mother.

"You don't need to talk about it..." Shinji said smiling.

"Thanks...Now lets get out of here...I'm starving..." Asuka said but stopped as they saw something.

For moment she thought that Rex had came back. But it wasn't he. In some way of them were a boy, dressed in white shirt and black trousers. He wasn't around here. His hair was dark green, and he had his arms resting on his side. Distance was short. Asuka could see her arms were was old needle marks, and at least one new. He didn't even bothered to cover them. His eyes were full of jealous and envy. In stare of them came out a possessive and self hating look. It was like he wanted to take something and hated himself because of it. He was same age as they two.

"You are showing me this again..." He hissed not taking his eyes out of them. "What you are trying to achieve...I don't even know them...." He grunted.

"Hey...who are you?" Asuka yelled stepping between him and Shinji. Shinji looked oddly at his shirt like seeing something what Asuka didn't.

Suddenly green haired boy laughed, but it was forced and joyless. "They aren't really like that! This can't be happening..." he laughed. And turned his head away. It was like he was talking to somebody else. then his smile faded and he grunted. "No...Its fake...they aren't...." he hissed.

"No I don't!" he said his face twisting.

"What are talking...are you hurt...?" Asuka wondered taking again carefully a step forward.

"God damn it, you little shit..." he gasped looking back to him like looking for someone.

"Don't you talk about her!" he yelled. "Ever..!" He added. And turned again to watch them.

Now streams of tears came down to his cheeks and Asuka jumped quickly backwards.

He fell down to his knees and begin to sob. "I...I didn't meant to hurt...She was in the way!" he roared. Now his smile was gone it was replaced by horrified look. "Why...why are you doing this to me...." He cried. "I just want to fly!" he yell and screamed. His needle arms had begun to bleed a black liquid. And with last painful gasp he vanished like he was never there.

Asuka had begin to take more support over Shinji as well he had did to her. "Lets get out of here...Then lets get to rest..." Asuka suggested.

"Amen." Shinji answered.

EPILOGUE.---three days later.

Rex stood alone in a rift to sea. He looked the waves what washed the beaches. He had learn how to hate it what was always been there. With his experience even ordinary human would have end up to hate it.

"Rex..." Familiar voice called.

Rex turned to face him. Shinji had came.

"How...?" Rex asked confused.

"Misato told me...She said that you were devastated by that..." he stopped. "Thing."

"She had every right to be angry." Rex answered. "She didn't lie to hurt you..."

"Really..?" Shinji asked. "Telling me that someone, who told me the fact that I didn't understood in this whole year changing my life to better, died is just little thing what I should forgot?"

"You mean that...?" Rex asked.

"What?" Shinji wondered.

"That I really changed your life to better?" Rex explained.

"I...I do." Shinji said. "You made to see that there was a choice. But I would have liked more tender way to show it..."

"You meant about Kaoru." Rex said. "To your knowledge I should have knew better than to make you fear me more...I saw him too. And somebody else."

"Who...?" Shinji inquired.

"Don't bother yourself with that..." Rex said.

"Least what I deserve is to know even for little." Shinji said.

Rex thought it and for a while he came to conclusion that he could tell it to him. It wouldn't harm him if he changed the story a bit. "I saw that beach first before Kaoru my..." He stopped and tried to form a sentence. "old sin." He said "Green haired boy who had sword strike trough his chest..."

He pressed his head down. "Randy..." he whispered.

"Your friend...?" Shinji asked, seeing how it made him feel uncomfortable.

"My victim." Rex said coldly.

Shinji remembered the sight he and Asuka had witnessed in the place of annihilation.

"So that it meant..." Shinji said. In green boys shirt had been written word 'Victim' with black oil like substance what seemed like blood.

"What?" Rex asked lifting his head.

"Nothing...but could you tell me what to do...with Asuka." He asked.

Rex seemed to come little bothered. "Her I can't say anything. I...just ask that you wouldn't cut your relationship with her." Rex answered.

"She lied...I didn't trust at you but now...you were right about everything...they didn't really hated me...I just thought so. But I don't know if I can..." Shinji looked her side.

"She didn't meant to hurt you anyway. If she was doing something it was against me."

Rex said firmly. "I really thought that I could survive trough this with out...feeling pain."

He looked at the sky.

"You aren't really different from me..." Shinji said.

"No I'm not. I was even more like you...year backward. This what you saw me now is a mask. But not a lie. These are my true face." He said firmly. "I now accept it..."

"Do You...?" Female voice came out from the air.

Like a lighting Rex jumped pulled his sword handle out. With a hiss it formed itself a silver blade. He looked around him and shouted. "Oloris!"

Shinji turned to look. Not long way away from him was a woman. With black and white hair, and long trench coat. "Rex." She said gently.

"What do you want?" Rex answered not in same tone as she.

"Is that a way to talk to old friend...?" She teased. "I came to say you...see you later."

She smiled.

"Come to gloat?" Rex grunted.

"I should. You now know that you did everything in vain." She stated.

"We'll see." Rex answered shrinking his sword back to hilt.

"We don't. Don't get middle all of this for second time..." Woman said threateningly.

"Or what? You kill me?" Rex asked.

"No." Woman said. she pointed her finger to Shinji. "He will..."

"Stay away from them..." Rex hissed taking place between Shinji and Oloris. Shinji felt fear what was about to happen.

"It really should be like this...I know that you don't want to be alone...we are alike...Mazakarn is alike...she was right about Zorjia...she is what she is." Oloris explained.

"She was not!" Rex answered. "At least I made a difference...you only watched and haunted me. I should be then one accusing you."

Oloris's face twisted with anger. "We are alike! You blood is black as mine! You have responsibility to Deimosa! You will learn what it means!" She yelled.

Rex began to laugh. "That was what were needed you...a swan to lecture me about responsibility!"

"You will learn...Mors ultima ratio!" She shouted as suddenly were bright blue flash of light and she was shot straight to skies.

Rex watched as Oloris was gone then he glanced to Shinji. "What Are you talking about!? I don't even know you!" he shouted after her.

"What was that...?" he asked silently.

"I don't know. She has followed me for a weeks. She acts like she knows...me." Rex shooed his head. "Either way I have to go..."

"Why...just stay...I need someone who says what is right..." Shinji pleaded.

"Journey is over for you and Asuka...but not for me. If you really need some support...talk to your guardian. She needs you as well. If I would stay...I just would make things too hard. But one thing I ask before I leave." He said.

"What?" Shinji asked.

"Don't ruin your relationship with her...wait for at least two years." Rex asked.

Shinji thought it for a while. "Lets make a pact."

"A pact?" Rex wondered.

"If you come here...two years from now...and tell me who you are by then...I'll do my best and try...with her." He suggested. "What do you say?"

Rex considered it. "If I am alive...I will come... Live a good life...my friend..." Rex offered his hand to him as sealing the deal.

"Agreed." Shinji said and took his hand.

They greeted and said goodbyes. After while Rex rose to his wings and was gone. Shinji was alone.

And begin to plan his life again. "Live a good life...my friend Rex." He wished.

The end.

AN, KnightOne: This is how ends my first ever completed fan fiction. I thank you for your time...and ask your forgiveness because wasting it. Once again thanks for everyone...and I'm sorry because I let you down. So comes to end my fan fiction what I hate. Rex and Oloris aren't ACC's,

This whole scene is in future fic Deimos king. I'm sorry but only useful thing to this is to use it to hype my future fics. Remaking will reveal Rex's identity.

Latin sayings.

Sursum corda means promote your hearts, and mors ultima ratio means the last change is death. Rex is 'king' and 'Oloris' is swan

Rusty Knights Productions (Knight Two and One) thanks and bows!

And for Nightwish's American tour....

_Only once my dreams _

_I got to see _

_Didn't feel the smallness _

_under the stars _

_Once I got bars on my cradle _

_As a prisoner I write a letter from there _

_My Creator, let me come to you _

_as what my child thinks I am _

_In you the beauty of the world _

_From which death made me an artist _

_My Creator, let me come to you _

_as what my child thinks I am _

_Created my own heaven here _

_Let me get away_

I really love that song. Death makes an artist by Nightwish...fan translation.


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